Written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 24 September 2008

image for List of Rejected Car Names For 2009
The 2009 Lazer Beam (0 to 180 in 1.3 seconds)

This article will appear in the November issue of Showroom Floor Extensively Illustrated Semi-Monthly Magazine

Every year the automobile industry comes up with literally hundreds of possible names for their new line of automobiles.

Three of the most popular names from the past have been the Ford Mustang which first appeared in 1964, the Chevrolet Corvette which came out in 1953, and the Pontiac Trans Am which debuted in 1969.

Showroom Floor Extensively Illustrated Semi-Monthly Magazine's chief senior executive writer Cordell 'Carburetor' Fitzwater III, spent three weeks interviewing each of the major car makers and finding out which car names would definitely not be used for their new lines. Here is the list of the top ten rejected car names for 2009:

  1. Oldsmobile Skunk
  2. Mercury Mosquito
  3. Buick Leech
  4. Toyota Titmouse
  5. Ford Snail
  6. Chevrolet Sardine
  7. Dodge Worm
  8. Chrysler Jackass
  9. Cadillac Capon and
  10. Mitsubishi Cockroach.

(EDITOR'S NOTE: Actually the name Mercury Mosquito would not have been a bad choice for a car in the African country of Zimbabwe since in Zimbabweian the name Mosquito means fearless married warrior with six-foot long golden diamond-encrusted sword who can defeat a pack of 8 or 10 ferocious lions in less than three minutes without even breaking a sweat).

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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