If You Don't Read These Comments On The News You Will Get Facial Warts. Guaranteed...
We Found Out The Real Reason Twilight Zone Was Canceled After Just Five Seasons. Because Rod Serling disappeared into the Outer Limits….. Trump Says Democrats 'Weaponized' His Tax Returns While Simultaneously Boasting That The Records Show What…
Read full storyBobble Head Scumbags Played Like Neil Peart
Hey kids, do you like to play God? I know I do, but that wonderful profession is usually only reserved for dictators and Trumps and mad scientists. But wait! Now there’s a way that you can play God with those bastards! Introducing the all new b…
Read full storyMan has been bought a copy of Matt Hancock's Pandemic Diary
Gary Johnson, one of Chutney on the Fritz's most famous figures was given a copy of Matt Hancock's Pandemic Diary for Christmas, and really needs to find out who gave it to him, so he can give it back to them. 'I know that it was my Secret Santa p…
Read full storyNone of the Popes Care if Priests have Sex
An article in Religious Rapture magazine concludes none of the Popes care if priests have sex. American Evangelicals love to 'knock' the religious enemy - Catholicism and the Pope. (Standing in their way to more Power and Money). Basically, P…
Read full storyRight Wing 'Loonie' Trumpies to Control Half of U.S. Congress
All News sites are carrying the story about pathetic House Speaker Kevin McCarthy. (His lips probably got bruised kissing Trump's Derriere - and it was all for nothing.) Eleven No Confidence Votes so far - from the Ultraconservative Trumpers -…
Read full storyRu Paul’s Drag Race Action, Action, ACTION!
Get ready, race fans, for some quarter mile action, action, ACTION! Coming soon to a race track near you, it’s Ru Paul’s Drag Racing! A tall and sexy Pilipino ladyboy named Suede with a starter flag will clip his/her high heels out onto the dr…
Read full storyPrince Harry Potter was made to live under the staircase after his mother died, was frequently beaten by his father and older brother, and managed to defeat evil forces using his mastery of chess, but they wouldn’t let him keep an owl
The Duke of Sussex, in his latest book, entitled Harry Wales, the Prisoner of Buckingham Palace, reveals his tormented life in England. He details how he was made to sleep under the stairs, didn’t get fed enough and had to answer to an angry father w…
Read full storyWhen William hit Harry
When William hit Harry When William hit Harry he fell to the floor Smashing the dog bowl that lay by the door But Harry stood up and said “What’s up old mate?” Only to be felled by a left hook from Kate He rallied again with a voice gettin…
Read full storyThe Ohio State Buckeyes Football Team Has Been Suspended And Put On Probation
NEW YORK CITY - (Sports Satire) - The NCAA Governing Committee has just announced that after repeated warnings that went unheeded, the Ohio State football program has been suspended and placed on probation. Governing Committee spokeswoman, Melvina…
Read full storyRyan Reynolds bitch slaps frenemy Hugh Jackman following “Don’t give him an Oscar” remark
It sounds like we’ve been there before. One overpaid Hollywood actor slaps another overpaid Hollywood actor in public, both of their publicity ratings sky rocket as everyone on the planet Googles their names for the latest news, and even their famili…
Read full storyHouse of Representatives building shuts down as people trying to enter and people trying to leave refuse to give way to each other
The US government is about to shut down over a people-flow problem, as approximately equal numbers of folk are trying to enter and leave the building at the same time. Although the building has designated entry and exit doors, the signs have come off…
Read full storyPresident Biden Issues A Stern Warning To North Korean Leader Kim Jong-un
WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - Word out of the White House is that President Biden has had enough of the Kimster's shit. POTUS has issued a stern warning to the leader of North Korea that he had better stop firing missiles that fly over Japan.
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