The US government is about to shut down over a people-flow problem, as approximately equal numbers of folk are trying to enter and leave the building at the same time. Although the building has designated entry and exit doors, the signs have come off the wall, or been pulled off. Suggestions by some folk that they should simply use the designated entrance and exit doors have been rebuffed by hardliners, who point to the absence of signage and their constitutional right, in the absence of such signage, to choose whichever door they want to use, even if it means causing inconvenience to others.
The people have taken repeated time-outs to try and reach a compromise, but each time they have failed, as folk have become more entrenched in their positions. Nobody is thinking of suing, as this would mean having to leave their position, which would mean that the folk pushing in the opposite direction would win. But legal analysts are themselves split about the correct solution, with some citing nineteenth century legal authorities that suggest that entrance and exit doors do not lose their status simply by reason of their respective signs falling off the wall, while others cite a comment by no less a figure than George Washington that governmental interference in people’s lives should be as minimal as possible, and if it ain’t written down, you can do whatever the heck you want, hee-haw! Opponents agree that Washington may have said this but argue that the drunken ravings of an off-duty founding father are not legally binding.
Outside agencies have been asked to help. Local cops have suggested doing absolutely nothing, and have refused to respond to claims that several police officers are part of the building mob. The FBI have suggested arresting everyone. The Justice Department has suggested empanelling a grand jury to decide. And the National Guard are still waiting for a call from the Governor, who's apparently inside the building.
Meanwhile, film crews are obtaining hours of footage to be used in future comedy movies.
