
Alderaan To Introduce Carbon Tax As Climate Change Named #1 Threat To Planet
Alderaanian Queen Breha Organa this morning announced that the planet will be introducing a carbon tax in response to growing concerns about the climate. The announcement comes in the wake of a new report which identifies climate change as the primar…
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Is Religion A Sign Of Mental Illness?
I had to go to my shrink again due to my crippling brain diseases, but this time I asked him questions instead of him asking me. He’s a girl who likes boys who likes girls who is a boy. And I’M the confused one?! Doctor [name withheld], if a perso…
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New Republican Theme Song For 2024 - 'I'm Deaming of a White Christian'
- Just like the Klan, I used to Know'... The new lyrics - thought up by Clarence Thomas' wife Ginnie. She was house cleaning and started humming the old Xmas tune and being a creative lady - just made-up new words. Her husband Clarence (an Ho…
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Prisoner # 8675309
To paraphrase Tommy Tutone, “Ginny Ginny, where can you turn to?” Of course, Ginny Thomas has a big important husband who commits crimes and judges crimes of others, but not of himself, (and that’s what makes him great!), so she can always rely on…
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Trump and Pence Play Golf
Trump and Mike Pence buried the hatched momentarily when Donald invited Mike out to nine holes of golf. Strangely, Pence had to keep ducking as balls flew at his head. One of them even exploded. “Is he still trying to kill me?” Pence asked his…
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Matt Gaetz Does Stand-Up Comedy
Matt Gaetz doesn’t look like a thumb, he looks like a shoe. But I hate deriding a man for his looks when his personality is so odious. Matt tried a little stand-up comedy at the latest American Nazi party rally (or however they’ve re-branded thems…
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American Geologists Have Found One of The World's Largest Oil Fields On The Pacific Island of Iwo Jima
MOUNT SURIBACHI CITY, Iwo Jima - (Satire News) - The famous World War II Pacific Island, Iwo Jima is now back in the news after 77 years. Iwo Jima's Mount Suribachi is the place where six US marines raised the American flag, so that all of the Jap…
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God Comes Out as Transgender
The religious community has been in a state of uproar since the news this week that God has come out as transgender. We should clarify that we are referring to Yahweh/Jehovah, the God of the Israelites, as portrayed in the old and New Testaments, and…
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Our Two Presidents, Biden and Trump, are Both Doing Fine after Having The Corona Virus
Trump had the Corona Virus first and gave it to his wife and son - being in Denial - (you know that famous river in Egypt) - and careless who he associated with. Biden got the new more contagious virus, Ba - 5. It. just gives you a bad sore thro…
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Steve Bannon, Trump's Aide and Advisor Found Guilty - Heading To Prison For 14 Years - Don The Con Trump Is Next
WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - Well like they say, justice will prevail. And former Trumptard campaign aide and White House strategist, Steve "The Ugly Creepola" Bannon is proof positive of that little ditty that first originated in Turkey five c…
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Pre-diabetes Is Not A Disease And Aging is not a Disease says Alternative Medine Guru
Danny the Hollywood Diet Guru, with the curly hair, ever youthful skin, and gym physique, had to mention in his new book, 'Diet Guru to the Stars' - one of the big Frauds in Medicine. "I just had to," he said. "The scandal of it all." Danny expla…
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Salvatore Goombalini, The Head of The Notorious Goombalini Crime Family of Brooklyn Wants To Have a Nice LONG Talk With Ted "The Whining Wimp" Cruz
BROOKLYN, New York - (Satire News) - A reporter for The New York Sunshine Observer newspaper has broken the story that Salvatore Goombalini, head of the nortorious Goombalini crime family based in Brooklyn wants to have a heart-to-heart talk with one…
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"Trump's A Sissy Whore" T-Shirts Are Selling Like Hot Cakes!
NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - The New England T-Shirt Corporation is reporting that sales of their recent anti-Trump T-Shirt are shooting through the roof. The shirt which reads, "Trump's A Sissy Whore," is the brainchild of longtime atheist Rep…
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Biden's New Catch Phrase Not Resonating With Gen Z Voters
Washington DC - A poll of younger voters say that Biden's new catch phrase, 'Hey, Get Off My Lawn!' isn't really doing much for them. "Look, we understand," explained Riley Zipher, a 20 year old that was in DC on a family trip, and overheard Biden…
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Ex-Presidents Trump And Clinton To Do Book Titled 'Presidential Sex-Capades'
Trump got the idea and contacted Clinton. Clinton was agreeable as he could use the money, and Trump needed money for legal bills. They also talked about trading current mistresses once in a while. Clinton also contacted George Bush Jr. who had h…
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Republican Liz Cheney Says She Is Leaving Trump's GOP And She'll Become a Democrat
WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - According to The iNews News Agency, the only Republican politician with any lick of sense, Liz Cheney, has just announced that she will be leaving the out-of-control Republican Party, and becoming a member of the pa…
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