Alderaan To Introduce Carbon Tax As Climate Change Named #1 Threat To Planet

Funny story written by Regan Rist

Sunday, 24 July 2022

image for Alderaan To Introduce Carbon Tax As Climate Change Named #1 Threat To Planet
The Imperial Environmental Bureau has found snow lines on Alderaan's mountains are receding

Alderaanian Queen Breha Organa this morning announced that the planet will be introducing a carbon tax in response to growing concerns about the climate. The announcement comes in the wake of a new report which identifies climate change as the primary existential threat the planet faces.

Queen Breha dismissed concerns that the new tax would make Alderaanian industry inefficient, and that it could compromise the planet’s military defences. In particular, it has been claimed that the tax will make it too expensive to run the planet’s Space Laser Defence Shield, constructed six years ago. “Well, that’s just one more benefit of this policy,” the Queen said. “That thing is a white elephant. In six years it hasn’t protected us from a single attack. We don’t need it.”

Meanwhile, the Outer Rim world of Tatooine will also bring in a carbon tax, with Jabba the Hutt citing rising Dune Sea levels as a particular area of concern, and warning that global warming could turn the entire planet into one giant desert. Conspiracy theorists have claimed that the planet is already one giant desert and the Hutt’s new tax is simply an excuse to extort more money from the planet’s inhabitants to fund his criminal activities.

Local resident Luke Skywalker was critical of the plan, and the economic management on Tatooine in general. “The price of power converters at Tosche Station has gone through the roof already. A new tax is just going to make things worse. The Hutts don’t care about how these policies affect working Tatooians, because they’ve never had to run a budget. Those greedy idiots wouldn't even know the price of a litre of blue milk.”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more