BROOKLYN, New York - (Satire News) - A reporter for The New York Sunshine Observer newspaper has broken the story that Salvatore Goombalini, head of the nortorious Goombalini crime family based in Brooklyn wants to have a heart-to-heart talk with one of the biggest, two-faced, lying, arrogant, sarcastic creeps to ever slither into the world of politics.
Sunshine Observer reporter Carmine Calatino, stated that he personally knows Sal and each one of his 10 Mafioso brothers, and he notes that that group of brothers are ten fellas that no one better, ever, ever, ever, mess with.
National Rumblings reporter Traci Diddle, last year wrote in a story, that the Goombalini family has over 20 professional hit men who can all hit a pigeon's pee-pee or vagina from a distance of 120 yards.
SIDENOTE: Reports coming out of the Goombalini office building are that Salvatore Goombalini is strongly suggesting that Cruz, who he says makes Dracula look pretty had better see about getting his fucked up ass back up to Canada, or else back to his home country of Guatemala veloce (fast)
