Hanky The Ukrainian Bomb-Sniffing Hamster Will Be Honored At Madison Square Garden With a World Hero Award
KYIV, Ukraine - (Satire News) - One of the biggest heroes of the Russian-Ukrainian War has been a tiny, itty, bitty hamster named Hanky. Hanky is assigned to Ukraine's 99th KYIV Infantry Regiment, and so far he has managed to sniff out over 920 Ru…
Read full storyThree Supreme Court Justices Request A Biden Reappointment
The three Supreme Court Justices were reported to be embarrassed by the current news about President Pussy Grabber. Oh, the embarrassment! There's his mob boss tactics, sexual misconduct allegations, witness intimidation, jury tampering, the Ja…
Read full storyPoland Plans To Invade Ukraine In Order To Attack The Russian Invaders
WARSAW, Poland - (Satire News) - The Polish government says that it is finalizing plans to launch an invasion into Ukraine so that they can then attack the evil, invading Russia horde. Polish Prime Minister Mateusz Morawiecki says that it is high…
Read full storyPresident Biden Says That He Will Be Appointing Liz Cheney To The U.S. Supreme Court
WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - In a move that has shocked the members of the GOP, and thrilled the members of the Democratic party, President Biden has just announced that he will be signing a "Special" Presidential Executive Order that gives him…
Read full storyThe NRA Cancels Its Big Summer Convention Due To A Tip That A Shooter Armed With Two AR-15's, and Two AK-47's, and 60,000 Rounds of Ammo Plans On Showing Up
NATCHEZ, Mississippi - (Satire News) - The NRA was to have had their 150th Annual Summer Convention and Whoop-De-Do Fandango, but it has abruptly been cancelled. It seems that several directors of the NRA received text messages telling them that t…
Read full storyArcaheologists Say Jesus was Jewish and Allergic To Bagels
On the outskirts of Jerusalem, archaeologists think they have found Jesus' tomb. The literally stumbled on a tomb, with a huge rock rolled in front of it. The had walked by it many times, just thinking it was a large rock, with an opening behind it.
Read full storyAirplane Travel is Dead
Since mask mandates have lifted and people are no longer forced to stay at home against their will, everybody wants to fly fly away! To go anywhere! ANYWHERE – just get me the fuck outa here! There has been a lot of trouble over people trying to g…
Read full storyNew Computerized Cane for Elderly Says 'Piss Off' and Other Sayings
Development is proceeding on a computerized cane for the Elderly at the Elderly Are Cash Cows Corporation. Plans are for a cane with a flashing light and siren for crossing streets. Also, a button that puts out the horn sound of a Large semi-t…
Read full storyThe Latest Poll Shows That 76% of All Whites And 98% of All Blacks Hate Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas
CHICAGO - (Satire News) - The latest QuinniPinni Poll clearly shows that Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas is a very, very hated man. QuinniPinni showed that 76% of all white people hate him, and 98% of all black people hate him. The whites do…
Read full storyIncrease In School Shootings Expected To Offset Unwanted Births From Abortion Ban, Study Shows
An academic research paper on the impact to population demographics found that an increase in unwanted births due to the Roe v Wade abortion ruling is expected to be offset by a parallel increase in deaths related to school shootings in the next 3 ye…
Read full storyBarron Trump Hates His Father So Much He Wants To Legally Change His Last Name
MANHATTAN, New York - (Satire News) - It is no secret that Melania Trump cannot stand her husband (Donaldo), but Cinderella St. Lamb, a reporter with The Daily Drama News Agency, has just revealed that Trump's youngest son, Barron who is 15, has alre…
Read full storyAn NRA Female Member Offers To Be Trump's Personal Bodyguard
HOCUS POCUS, Alabama - (Satire News) - A resident of the "Cotton Is King" town of Hocus Pocus has offered her gun expertise service to Donald Trump. Ellonia Elvira Frippity, 43, says when she heard that President Biden was going to discontinue Tru…
Read full storyA Freak Snowstorm Drops 27 Inches of Snow On Laredo, Texas
LAREDO, Texas - (Satire News) - The average summer temperature in Laredo, Texas is 106. But thanks to the Canadian Yukon Express of 2022, the city on the US-Mexico border just saw 27 inches of snow fall on the town on the Rio Grande River. Lare…
Read full storyNaked Photos of Kimberly Guilfoyle Are Found In a San Francisco Bank Safety Deposit Box
SAN FRANCISCO - (Satire News) - One of the country's most well-known political leeches is Kimberly Guilfoyle. The 53-year-old Guilfoyle was once married to the governor of California, Gavin Newsom, and after her divorce from Newsom, she dated two…
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