Development is proceeding on a computerized cane for the Elderly at the Elderly Are Cash Cows Corporation.
Plans are for a cane with a flashing light and siren for crossing streets.
Also, a button that puts out the horn sound of a Large semi-truck,
for those Drivers that still cut in front of the Elderly - while they are in the middle of the street.
There will be 10 free standard audible saying on the cane 'Thank you' - 'I'm not Deaf', etc.
For an additional cost it can be customized to say, "Piss Off'' - 'Out of the way!’ - 'Ahole’ - 'Creep', or if appropriate - 'Mofukr'
Also, foreign languages - 'Merde' in French, and other suitable European swear words.
For safety, a stiletto is in the base of the cane. Pepper spray is in the handle and a two-shot derringer can be attached;(a special feature, available from the NRA - (totally legal).
Anyway, Keep watching AARP Magazine, and it should be available by Xmas.
