Melania Trump is Reportedly Considering a $4 Million Offer To Do a Nude Layout Spread In a National Mens Magazine
LOS ANGELES – (Satire News) – The Alpha Beta News Agency has just reported that the former first lady and wife of the Trumptard, has been approached about doing a layout in Playguy Magazine. A spokesperson for the adult mens magazine, Juanito F. D…
Read full storyManchester United Manager Withdraws Transfer Offer for Jesse Lingard After Learning He’s Already on Team
Manchester - Mauricio Pochettino, who recently joined Manchester United as manager, has been forced to reverse his first decision as the head man at the club, which was to buy attacking midfielder Jesse Lingard from West Ham United. Pochettino, wh…
Read full storyGuatemala Reveals The Nation’s Most Nortorious Drug Cartel Hitwoman
GUATEMALA CITY, Guatemala – (Satire News) – Guatemala’s El Platano News Agency has just revealed that one of the country’s most notorious hitmen is actually a hitwoman. El Plat reporter Paloma Bocalinda, actually spoke with the woman in question i…
Read full storyWanker suffers under the long arm of the law
Police swooped into a Wetherspoon's early this morning to arrest a male suspected of wanking in a public toilet that is marked Disabled Only. Police say after breaking the door down with brutal force they entered to find the man on his back with…
Read full storyMike Lindell Again Predicts His Company Will Be Reinstated by Better Business Bureau
Minnesota - Pillow Company owner and Trumper conspiracy peddler Mike Lindell is sticking with his narrative that former President Donald Trump will soon be reinstated as President of the United States after he convinces the country and US Supreme Cou…
Read full storyTed Cruz Says Daughters Tricked Him Into Saying That January 6th Was a Violent Terrorist Insurrection
Washington - After he was lambasted by right wing commentator Tucker Carlson on Fox News for correctly pointing out that the January 6th violent right wing insurrection, fomented by President Trump to stop the vote count in Congress, was carried out…
Read full storyA Pilot and Co-Pilot Get Into A Fist Fight In The Cockpit of A Jetliner At 30,000 Feet
SOMEWHERE OVER IOWA – (Satire News) – Sky Blue Airlines has just confirmed that two of their cockpit crew members did in fact get into an altercation while 30,000 feet up in the sky. An airline spokewoman, identified as Virginia Liliana Tippenkunt…
Read full storyJoe Biden Begins To Hammer Trump
Well, it's about time. Trump has been spewing lies forever. Most recently, on the escalator ride down, followed by his Mexican tirade. Then, no one can forget the bone spur shenanigans. All lies. Too many to list. But the most recent: The 2020 electi…
Read full storyHorny Trump Housewives Get Hot Over Ins'erection' Strippers
TEXAS - Chippendale's male exotic dancers are booked solid with their new act, The 'Ins'erection' Strippers. "Man, you wouldn't believe how many horny Trump hags there are out there in the suburbs," told Butch Manly, the head of the Chippendale da…
Read full storyGod Suffers with Mental Health; Becomes Atheist
Vatican - On Wednesday Pope Francis made a shocking statement of God's mental health. "I just don't believe in myself anymore." God is rumored to have said to his therapist. In addition to his recent self doubt God has been suffering with an…
Read full storyRenowned Scientists And Fabulous Hairdressers Reveal The Truth; The Man-Bun Is Deadly!
Scientist from the U.S., Europe, and Oakville, Ontario, Canada have joined forces with their hairdressing counterparts to warn the world at large that the scourge of the 21st century, the dopey-looking, douchie hairstyle known as 'The Man-Bun' is not…
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