Chicago Will Be Ghost Town In 34,000 Years Says Mayor Lightfoot
BILLINGSGATE POST: Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot’s plan to curb violence in the city is facing an unprecedented dateline. This past year, there were 777 homicides reported in Chicago, ending the deadliest year in a quarter century. With the present p…
Read full storyBuckingham Palace Lays Off 17 Palace Guards
LONDON - (UK Satire) - The world's economy is still in a world of trouble due to the Coronavirus (aka The Trumpapalooza Virus). Many countries have had to layoff some of their federal employees. The Kremlin Voice reports that Russia has had to lay…
Read full storyThe U.S. Supreme Court Warns The State of Florida It Better Not Cheat In The 2022 National Election Like It Did In The 2020 National Election
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – Seven of the nine members of the United States Supreme Court have issued the Plywood State of Florida a very stern warning. The highest court in the land, after reviewing over 373,000 documents, reports, and memo…
Read full storyA Medical Report Reveals That Marjorie Taylor Greene Was Actually Born With Flip-Flopped Ovaries
BALTIMORE, Maryland – (Satire News) – A medical report that has just come out has revealed a startling fact about the woman known as “The Ugliest Female Politician In Washington, D.C. The report conducted by the medical reporting agency, Medical R…
Read full storyDonald Trump Shows How Positively Ignorant He Is As He Now Says That California’s Wild Fires Were Caused By Vicious Fireflies
DUCK DUNG, Alabama – (Satire News) – The “Turdhead” (DJT) who said that COVID was a hoax, and he won the election by 54 million votes, and that the Boy Scouts of America were conducting a “Witch Hunt” on him has now surpassed even his most stupid, id…
Read full storyThe Reason Queen Elizabeth Has Entered The Hospital
LONDON – (UK Satire) – A spokesperson for Buckingham Palace has informed the British Press that Queen Elizabeth has been admitted into The Maid Marion Hospital located in Twickenham. The spokesperson, Imelda Fellafix, 61, wanted the citizens of th…
Read full storySarah Ferguson Opens Up An Adult Sex Toy Shoppe
LONDON – (Satire News) – The Duchess of York, has been in the news more in the past two months, than she has in the past four years. Sarah Ferguson, gained some unwanted fame due to the Infamous Toe Sucking Incident of 1992. Fergie was the suck…
Read full storyKim Kardashian is Finally Having All of Her Kanye West Tattoos Removed
LOS ANGELES – (Satire News) – Kim Kardashian commented to Scandal Today reporter Cheyenne Patio that she has finally decided to get rid of her four Kanye West tattoos. Kim told Miss Patio that now that she is dating "Saturday Night Live" star Pete…
Read full storyThe Truth Is Out There And Pointing At Trump
So Donald Trump wasn't napping during the riots of January 6 at the Capitol building. Instead, Trump watched the riots on television from the dining room off of the Oval Office. And because of his silence and inaction, he must have been rooting for t…
Read full story"I want to be laid to rest alongside Artoo Deetoo," says Queen
In a leaked Palace document, Her Majesty, The Queen has revealed that she wants to be buried alongside the Star Wars droid, R2-D2. In an appendix to her will, The Queen states: “I have always been a huge fan of the Star Wars series of films and, i…
Read full storyHow To Resurrect Daniel Craig As James Bond And Judi Dench As M
Easy. The new film is an old James Bond case, protected under the Official Secrets Act and supervised by Judi Dench as M before Javier Barden killed her in the Skyfall film. Everything works on celluloid. Pay film director Ridley Scott loads…
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