We do a lot of celebrity profiles around here, but now and then we get someone really special. We’re very pleased this time to have Billy Joel, the great singer-songwriter behind such hits as “Movin’ Out,” “Uptown Girl,” and The Bosom Buddies theme, whatever that was called. We got a call from his publicist. Billy was on tour in New York and wanted to meet us at an Italian restaurant to discuss something very important. It turned out he wanted to go on the record about his early 1990s hit “We Didn’t Start the Fire.”
We find Billy eating steamed clams in wine sauce, but he doesn’t look like he’s enjoying it. Clearly he has serious things on his mind. After all these years, the song still troubles him.
“Sure, the song was a beloved hit. It made me millions of dollars in royalties. But that’s not what I was after. The song was supposed to change the world. I wanted to bring peace to the masses. But people didn’t listen. The words went over their heads. The song was almost too slick for its own good. People got carried away by the incredibly catchy tune and the brilliantly captivating rhythms. The song was simply too brilliant for its own good. Putting all those names together—Mickey Mantle, Kerouac. Kruschev, Santaya. Nothing random about it. Every word, every name, so carefully chosen.
“I went along with the whole pop star bit, like my handlers wanted. I played along. I made a lot of money. But my heart wasn’t in it. My body was on stage singing and entertaining the masses, but deep inside raged the heart of a philosopher. I even married Christie Brinkley, yeah, everybody knows about that. My heart wasn’t in that either. A dark genius like me, married to a silly laughing blonde like her. I should have been married to a woman like Simone de Beauvoir, or Leni Riefenstahl. It was hell. IT WAS PURE FUCKING HELL!” He slams his fist on the table, causing the table to wobble and a few dried up clams to roll to the floor.
“Yeah, I started the fire. It was me. Well, it was the whole Baby Boom Generation, but mostly it was me. After all, Billy Joel was born in 1949. What year did the fire start burning? Yeah.
“I really don’t think I have to explain it all. I gave you all the clues. They’re right there, in the song. Josef Stalin, Nassir and Prokofiev. British Beatlemania, Buildin’ Berlin, Bay of Pigs Invasion. Don’t you see? It’s all there in the song, the whole map of human existence, all of it. Don’t you understand? It’s all so obvious!
“Did you think it was just a song? You fools! I gave you the truth and you ignored me! Someday, when the world is coming to an end, you will regret that you didn’t listen to Billy Joel. You ignored the fire and now you will burn!”
What a guy, that Billy Joel. We all knew he was a great songwriter, but we had no idea how colorful he is.
