A Man Wins Taco Bell's Jalapeno-Eating Contest But Ends Up At a 24-Hour Emergency Clinic
EL PASO, Texas – (Satire News) – Alpha Beta’s Mimosa Sabrosa covered the 32nd Annual Taco Bell Jalapeno-Eating Contest, which was held at El Paso's Giggling Guacamole Restaurant. The yearly event draws participants from as far away as Delaware, De…
Read full storyFrance Announces Jump Up and Down in Anger Day to protest at Australia, USA, UK, rest of the world
The French government has announced, as part of its continuing protests at the decision of Australia, USA and UK to set up a Pacific military alliance and not buy any ships or submarines from France, that the people of France will jump up and down in…
Read full storyDonald Trump To Have Liposuction Surgery To Remove 97 Pounds of Fu*king Fat From His Gigantic Belly
DETROIT – (Satire News) – The twice-impeached former occupant of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue was in Detroit, getting an estimate on having stomach liposuction. The Daily Dirt’s Stormy Coin said she spoke with his liposuctionist, who told her that old…
Read full story‘A Sign of the Times’ Foo Fighters to Formally Change Their Name
SEATTLE, Washington, September 21st, 2021 - - After 1 hour and 38 minutes of deliberation, 12 time Grammy Award winning music legends, Foo Fighters, announced this morning that effective immediately the band will be known as Non-Aerosol Air Freshener…
Read full storyJack-in-the-Box Denies That They’re Buying Their Curly Fries From Taliban-Controlled Afghanistan
CORN COB, Iowa – (Satire News) – Word coming out of the Iowa evangelical rumor mills is that the Jack-in-the-Box restaurant chain is purchasing their curly fries from a food outlet in Afghanistan. BuzzFuzz reporter Taffeta Kixx learned that the Ta…
Read full storyMelania Trump Reveals The Reason Why She Suddenly Dropped Out of "Dancing With The Stars"
HOLLYWOOD – (Satire News) – Melania Trump was reportedly thrilled that she was going to get to appear on this season’s “Dancing With The Stars.” She had even told her most favorite daughter-in-law, Tiffany Trump, that she was so excited about gett…
Read full storyHooters Rehires a Waitress Who Was Fired Because She Had No Hooters
SAN FRANCISCO – (Satire News) – The Wild Whispers News Agency is reporting that the Hooter’s Corporation has agreed to rehire a 24-year-old woman who was fired simply because she’s as flat-chested as Marjorie Taylor Greene. WWNA reporter Margarita…
Read full storyThe Border Patrol Will Transport 18,000 Illegal Haitians From Del Rio, Texas To Georgia
DEL RIO, Texs – (Satire News) – The U.S. Border Patrol has just stated that there are currently close to 21,000 citizens of Haitian descent living beneath Del Rio’s Hillary Clinton Honorary Bridge. Most are women and children who left Haiti becaus…
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