Blubbering Donald Trump says he won’t attend Joe Biden’s inauguration

Funny story written by Cleopatra Chaos

Friday, 8 January 2021

image for Blubbering Donald Trump says he won’t attend Joe Biden’s inauguration
Trump's supporters (one of them unknowingly carrying the wrong flag) demand the execution of non-Trump supporters

In a tweet to his sycophantic followers, the grizzling groucher, President Trump, has said he won’t go to the inauguration of President Elect Biden.

Biden, who kicked Trump’s ass in the recent US presidential election, takes over in the White House on 20 January, and until now, Trump has said he wouldn’t leave. However, all that changed after thousands of his ardent followers, armed with guns and knives and pipe bombs, attacked Washington, destroyed buildings and killed police officers. While Trump’s daughter thanked them, and called them patriots, and Trump wished them well, most decent Americans expressed horror, resulting in demands for Vice President Mike Pence to utilize the 25th Amendment and kick his boss out of power.

Despite being mocked and ridiculed by POTUS, and despite demands for him to be charged with treason, Pence has ruled out using the 25th Amendment to oust Trump, but it is believed that he may have demanded, in return, that Trump leaves the White House willingly on 20 January, which a Trumpian aide said he would do.

This will be a disappointment to many observers, who were looking forward to seeing the petulant POTUS being caried, kicking and screaming, through the doors of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue by Secret Service agents, before being unceremoniously dropped on the sidewalk.

Scottish Prime Minister Nicola Sturgeon has said that Trump can’t enter her country to play golf on one of his golf courses, which he had hoped to use as an excuse for avoiding Biden’s inauguration. The Scottish leader told Trump to “grow a set of balls, and attend the inauguration”.

Meanwhile, Russian President Vlad (the Poisoner) Putin has offered sanctuary to Donald Trump, on condition that he brings with him as much information as possible about America’s security systems.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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