Obituary: Sean Connery Discovers You Only Live Once
Sean Connery, the actor who died at the weekend, having had a long and successful career 'tramping the boards' - not least in the James Bond movies - has finally found that, contrary to popular belief, you only live once. Connery died on Saturday,…
Read full storyLockdown ruining trade, say filchers
Burglars, petty thieves, filchers and citizens generally accustomed to purloining for a living have had enough. They are to strike as of next Tuesday. "It's getting ridiculous", said Bob Loot, Chairman of the League of Crooks and Pilferers, "peopl…
Read full storyTerminator Creator Reveals Idea For Story Came From Time Traveller From The Future
James Cameron, the creator of the 1984 blockbuster movie 'The Terminator', starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, has confessed that the brilliant idea for the story came from a totally unexpected source. The concept, says Cameron, which is almost beyon…
Read full storySean Connery James Bond Comeback Shelved
There was a major disappointment for James Bond fans at the weekend, when the proposed comeback of Sean Connery as 007 had to be abandoned when the actor gave up his ghost. Connery, 90, had starred in Bond adventures since he was a small boy, and,…
Read full storyBiden replaces himself with Fauci as candidate for the presidency
“As soon as I lit that rocket, I knew it had to soar further,” Mr. Biden said, right after closing a rally in Ohio. He had just told fans at the rally that he would “hire Mr. Fauci and fire Mr. Trump.” Then came his further brainstorm. Cont…
Read full storyPortrait wins first prize but not public approval
A popular portrait artist has won an.exhibition despite most visitors expressing negative comments about it. The painting, by Norbert Waddell, was an unusual portrait of a local MP wearing nothing but a fur coat while holding a number 6 spanner. T…
Read full storyJO's 2,000th Spoof! Time for celebration, not war, as walnut falls on Jaggedone's head giving him a pea-brain!
Living in natural surroundings can sometimes be a place with hazardous slip-ups. Treading in cow's poo, running over farm cats, a house filled with unwanted lodgers called spiders, trees dropping their glorious autumn leaves, among many other disadva…
Read full storyEvery Presidential Poll Shows That President Trump’s Ass is Toast
NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – Most of the reputable US political polls are showing that President Trump’s ass is toast, to use a popular southern cooking term. The Quintessential Poll, one of the most reputable polls n the nation, is going as fa…
Read full storyA White House Insider Says He Heard Melania Tell Her Husband Not to Be a Pussy – If You Lose, You Lose
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – Vox Populi is reporting that an inside Trump assistant overheard the first lady telling the President not to be a pussy when he loses. Melania went on to say that he has loved dishing out his shit, and now, when…
Read full storyMany News Agencies Are Reporting That Most of The White House Staff Members Are Already Starting to Pack
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – Many of the nation's news agencies are saying that most of President Trump’s staff are clearly seeing the writing on the wall, and are already starting to pack. They say the staffers want to get ahead of the let’…
Read full storyMelania’s Parents Have Said That Their Daughter is Thrilled-as-Hell That She’ll Be Moving Back To Slovenia in January
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – The wonderful parents of the not-so-wonderful first lady are ecstatic at the fact that their daughter (and grandson, Barron) will soon be moving to their beloved Slovenia. Melania’s parents Viktor and Amalija Kna…
Read full storyTrump To Declare Victory Moment He’s One Vote Ahead
It has been made clear (by Donald Trump) that Donald Trump is planning to declare victory as soon as he is one vote ahead in the count on November 3rd. That could happen well before the polls close in California and before the votes are certified.
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