Living in natural surroundings can sometimes be a place with hazardous slip-ups. Treading in cow's poo, running over farm cats, a house filled with unwanted lodgers called spiders, trees dropping their glorious autumn leaves, among many other disadvantages.
However, their is a silver lining in every dark cloud, especially when one owns a walnut tree!
Jaggedone possesses such a wonderful creation, which decorates his rear garden, not his rear-end. The tree supplies him and his family with walnuts, which are very healthy indeed.
Walnuts are renowned as being totally healthy, and they can even kill cancer cells, some professors say. Well, it's much better than having a bald head or no eyebrows!
One nut proved this point poignantly, as green-fingered Jaggedone passed under his tree in October 2020, heading towards a weed spotted under a fallen leaf. The nut fell off a branch, bounced off JO's bald head, and splattered on the floor! Its victim, not aware of any brain damage, assaulted the weed, and bunged it on a compost heap at the bottom of his hilly garden.
Later that evening, his missus, who must be a 'nutter' too, living with him for over 36 years, noticed Jaggedone's strange behavior as he looked into the bathroom mirror, complaining he suddenly had a 'pea-brain' after nearly 70 years of residing on the planet.
Next morning, she drove him to a local loony-bin, where they examined his thick head. They diagnosed the fact that he really has developed a pea-brain, after being struck by the walnut!
Loony specialists kept him in their bin, dressed him in a straitjacket, and advised his missus to get a divorce immediately. Condolences came thick and fast from fellow Spoofers wishing him an extended period of isolation, as they all took a deep breath and congratulated the walnut for proving what their editor always knew, JO is an insufferable, narcissistic maniac, and is now in a place where he rightly deserves to be.