WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – Many of the nation's news agencies are saying that most of President Trump’s staff are clearly seeing the writing on the wall, and are already starting to pack.
They say the staffers want to get ahead of the let’s vamoose rush, and some are starting to take ashtrays, towels, utensils, and toilet paper.
iRumors is even reporting that Hope Hicks, who many regard as the President’s girlfriend, has said that she has already packed most of her shoes, dresses, skirts, blouses, bras, panties, and sex toys, and the dozen-or-so boxes are stacked in her White House bedroom.
Meanwhile, the President is insisting that many of the mailed-in ballots are post-marked; Kenya, Guatemala, Mozambique, and Pisagovia.
He told Tucker “Creepy Eyes” Carlson that he is going to have the Supreme Court decide the outcome of the election, since that is the only sure-fire way that he will definitely win, even if he loses the popular vote and the Electoral College vote.