Diego Maradona In New 'Hand Of God' Incident
Diego Maradona, the Argentine footballing genius that almost-singlehandedly derailed England's World Cup dream in Mexico, in 1986, in a bizarre incident that became known as the 'Hand of God', has been involved in yet another incident springing from…
Read full storyNation Refuses to Pardon NBC for Complicity in Helping Trump Get Involved in Showbusiness
Washington - A growing chorus of political experts and observers in the United States are considering a class action suit against NBC, some television show producers and directors, and just about anyone else that had anything to do with Donald Trump…
Read full storyMan Says Football Is No Longer Important To Him
A man who, in his younger days, followed football as enthusiastically as it was possible to do, has said that he has now lost all interest in the game, and, actually, couldn't give a fuck about it. Moys Kenwood, now 57, became a football fan on 23…
Read full storyTeacher Disputes Students' "Boring" Claim
There was a stunned silence in a local school classroom this afternoon, when, after one of the students had had the audacity to pronounce that his Science teacher was "boring", the teacher in question decided to prove just how 'unboring' he actually…
Read full storyNew tabloid joins other UK garbage published by Jaggedone, it's called "The Weekly Pony and Trap!"
(NOT EDITED) Rupert Murdoch, eat your heart out, you now have a competitor who will make your Sun read like Noddy and Bigears! "The Daily Pony and Trap" (For US readers; Crap) has been published for the first time in a shithole under a railway lin…
Read full storyPresident Trump is Putting His Mississippi Beach House on The Market
DELTA DAWN, Mississippi – (Satire News) – GOPicky magazine is reporting that the president has decided to sell his Mississippi beach house. He told writer Amos Soursuckle that, now that he will soon become John Q. Public, he is going to have to cu…
Read full storyOne of The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders Is Fired After She Admits She’s 7 Months Pregnant
DALLAS – (Sports Satire) – In a move that will most probably have the ACLU involved, iNews is reporting that one of the veteran Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders has been fired. Millicent Tumblewood, 26, who has been a Cowboys cheerleader for four years…
Read full storyLong John Silver’s Patrons Find Traces of Pepto Bismol in Their Fried Oysters
LOUISVILLE, Kentucky - (Satire News) – The Kentucky Health Federation has filed a complaint against the Long John Silver Corporation. The KHF states that patrons in three different establishments have reported finding traces of Pepto Bismol in th…
Read full storyPresident-Elect Joe Biden Has Offered The Secretary of Treasury Position to Jeff Bezos
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – The newly-elected president, Joe Biden, has been busy filling in his cabinet positions and talking to commercial disinfectant companies. Upon recommendation from his wife, Jill, and newly-elected vice-president,…
Read full storyAfter Flynn Pardon, Over Half of Nation’s 2.2 Million Prison Inmates Now Claim to be Friends of Donald Trump
Washington - After President Trump pardoned convicted felon Michael Flynn to kick off an expected wave of presidential pardons - mostly of people loyal to, or friends of, the defeated chief executive - over a million inmates have submitted letters,…
Read full storyUtah authorities want to speak to the aliens that erected monolith
Utah Department of Public Safety officials are asking anyone with information about the aliens that erected a large silver monolith in a remote part of the desert to please come forward. “We’re asking anyone who may have seen a saucer-shaped objec…
Read full storyTrump Finds A Way To Stay In The White House After Inauguration
Lame rat president, Donald Trump, has vowed to continue living in the White House after President-elect Joe Biden’s inauguration. The affable Trump claims he has solid proof that the election was rigged. He claims that 1 million illegal Mallard duc…
Read full storyPresident Trump is Being Sued By The Ku Klux Klan and The Proud Boys
DUCK DUNG, Alabama – (Satire News) - President Trump’s lead lawyer, Segundo Juarez, has just commented that two white extremist groups have filed lawsuits against one Donald Jonathan Trump, esq. The two organizations are the Ku Klux Klan and the P…
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