There was a stunned silence in a local school classroom this afternoon, when, after one of the students had had the audacity to pronounce that his Science teacher was "boring", the teacher in question decided to prove just how 'unboring' he actually was.
Moys Kenwood, 57, isn't that keen on science, himself, but he makes a fair fist of it. Despite this, some students have found his book-led, experimentless lessons a bit on the tedious side, and have come to the conclusion that, if the lessons are boring, so must the teacher be.
Not so, says Kenwood.
"Whatever else I've been in life, 'boring' isn't on the list."
It turns out that the Englishman has something of a chequered past. First, he was a punk rocker, clad in his leather jacket, tartan trousers, and beetle crushers, attended the concerts of a shedload of cutting-edge bands, and lived the punk lifestyle, albeit without any of the spitting at passers-by, or projectile vomiting into old ladies' shopping bags that was 'all the rage'.
When the punk phase wore off, he drifted into football hooliganism, and travelled the length and breadth of England, terrorising town centres before and after games, and the home ends during them, along with other like-minded individuals under the unnofficial banner of the Hull City Psychos.
His audience listened as he regaled them with his tall tales of a time gone by.
First-hand accounts of criminal arrests, time spent in police cells and other 'brushes with the law', random acts of vandalism, hooliganism, and thugism, partying, drunken debauchery, romantic conquests, and other 'outright lies' made their way from the mouth of the teller to the ears of the listeners, as the lesson time disappeared into the past.
Said one of the students later:
"We faked interest, but at least it was better than boring, old science!"