DALLAS – (Sports Satire) – In a move that will most probably have the ACLU involved, iNews is reporting that one of the veteran Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders has been fired.
Millicent Tumblewood, 26, who has been a Cowboys cheerleader for four years, has been terminated, and has been asked to turn in her skimpy blue halter top, tiny short shorts, cowgirl boots, and three pairs of L'eggs nude pantyhose.
Millie, as all of her boyfriends have called her, was asked by team owner Jerry Jones if she was pregnant. She stated that being an evangelical, she is not prone to lying, and that she was - 7 months.
Jones informed her that he could not have a pregnant cheerleader representing his brand, as it would look like he is condoning having his lily white cheerleaders wantonly engaging in unprotected sex, and becoming impregnated by an individual who is not married to her.
Miss Tumblewood pleaded that this is 2020, and lots of single women get pregnant every day.
Jones hollered that those girls were not Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders, and if they wanted to act like bargain basement sluts, then that was their business.
Sporting Chance Magazine is reporting that Miss Tumblewood has hired noted Houston attorney Brockington P. Diablo, and they are suing Jerry Jones for $18.2 million on the grounds of Invasive Sexual Pokititus.