Courage Saving Our Country, Says Trump
Trump calls for “Courage to save the country.” Huh? By saving the country, Trump means to overturn a lawful election that he lost because of his incompetence, and that was won by President-elect Joe Biden. This from the same guy who had the…
Read full storyLiverpool Fans Left Anfield Early 'To Avoid Traffic'
It was a landmark moment at the weekend when fans were finally allowed back into football stadiums for he first time after nine long months of Coronavirus behind-closed-doors matches, but that didn't stop some fans reverting to their normal behaviour…
Read full storyExperience: the Covid Vaccine gave me a 12-inch Erection
It's certainly one in the eye for those anti-vaxxer idiots! Just imagine how they will be queuing up for it now! I’m talking, of course, of the Pfizer Covid-19 vaccine. I was one of the 20,000 volunteers given the vaccine in its trials - after a…
Read full storyGreta Thunberg Cosmetic Surgery Rumors Untrue
Rumors of Greta Thunberg getting “green, sustainable” breast implants aren’t true. She released a statement saying she supported all people getting whatever plastic surgery they wanted, as long as it was environmentally friendly, and used no petro-ch…
Read full storyFood Vendors Formed Around Motorcycle Accident
Sometimes, you think you've seen everything, but then you see something to make you realize you haven't, and that was exactly the case earlier today when a man who thought he had seen everything, saw something else to make him realize he hadn't. A…
Read full storyMan Told Tuk Tuk Driver To Go And Fuck Himself
A tuk tuk driver who persistently pestered a man walking through a town center, asking him where he was going and whether or not he wanted to travel in comfort, was rounded upon by the man, and told, in no uncertain terms, to go and fuck himself.
Read full storyLonely old f*ck takes jab for stipend; offers other arm for further scientific research
News of the Covid-19 vaccination process now indicates it is a two-stage process, jabs one month apart. Women are warned that infertility may accompany the vaccination during this two-month period. Also, a certain amount of discomfort, or pain…
Read full storyOle Solskjaer mistook Leipzig for Dresden! He thought he could 'bomb' the place!
(NOT EDITED) Last night Manchester United's manager failed to inspire his 'troops' into immediate action, so Jaggedone and his CIA (cockroach Infiltration Army) have recorded Ole's epic pre-match talk before the awful, soggy-fish encounter. The re…
Read full storyA Cocker Spaniel Finds a Box of Nude Photographs of Marilyn Monroe
WALLA WALLA, Washington – (Satire News) - The Seattle Exulter-Herald talked to a retired milkman, Xavier Cyclone, 67, who said that he and his dog were out in the woods, woodchuck hunting. He said his hunting dog, Puddles, a 7-year-old Cocker Span…
Read full storyThe Dallas Cowboys Dumpster Fire Continues
BALTIMORE – (Sports Satire) – Millions of Cowboys fans are wondering if the ‘boys are going to win another game this year. And the one who wonders that more than anyone else, is the team owner, Jerry “Damn, I'm Stressed” Jones. Jerry's wife ha…
Read full storyPorn Hub Makes A Big Announcement
DETROIT – (Satire News) – The company that owns the Porn Hub website, Raging Libido, Inc., is thrilled to announce that the amount of users has increased by a whopping 815%. Adele Mizzen, a spokeswoman for the porn site, told the news media that t…
Read full storyPresident Trump Is Having 9,000 Covid Vaccines Shipped to The White House
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – A source inside the White House has said that Pfizer Pharmaceuticals will be shipping the first vaccines out of their factory to the White House. The unnamed source said that he actually saw the purchase order th…
Read full storySource: White House Ordering Reams of Paper Shredders
The White House is said to be ordering large amounts of paper shredders and burn barrels, as it appears likely that Donald Trump will not win re-election. According to a source within the Administration, who spoke off the record, ventilators original…
Read full storyExtraterrestrial Galactic Federation Meets With President Trump
BILLINGSGATE POST: Haim Eshed, a former chief of the Israel Defense Ministry’s space directorate, says that extraterrestrials from a Galactic Federation have been in contact with him, that President Trump is aware of this, and was previously "on the…
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