BALTIMORE – (Sports Satire) – Millions of Cowboys fans are wondering if the ‘boys are going to win another game this year.
And the one who wonders that more than anyone else, is the team owner, Jerry “Damn, I'm Stressed” Jones.
Jerry's wife has said that her husband gets up at least twice a night, screaming out things like “Not another ass-kicking”, “No, I don’t want any nachos, I want a win”, and “What da fuck?”
iNews reporter Kitty Segovia quipped that the Dallas Cowboys dumpster fire continues, with no end in sight.
The Cowpokes were handed loss numero ocho, (8) as the Cowboys fans down in Chihuahua, Mexico say.
The Baltimore Ravens clobbered the casual Cowpokes, 34-17.
Sports announcer Troy Aikman said that the way the team is playing, Eva Longoria High School in Corpus Christi could whip their asses.
Just before the halftime, Jerry’s team got a 15-yard penalty called on them for ‘Laziness’. And then late in the fourth quarter, they got penalized 25-yards for ‘Lack of Enthusiasm”.
The replay clearly showed that when the ball was snapped, two of the Dallas defensive linemen were actually sitting on the Astroturf, and one appeared to be on his cell phone.
RumorLand News remarked that Jones is going to talk to NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, and see if he can get the last 3 games of the season cancelled.