Pardon Christmas Gifts For Trump Children
Santa Claus is coming to Washington D.C. looking just like Donald J. Trump. The three eldest Trump children, plus the son-in-law and Giuliani, are looking for pardons as Christmas gifts. The question is: Why would the five require pardons? Cr…
Read full storyCockney Rhyming Slang to be Compulsory in the North As Part of Tory Levelling-Up Plans
An anonymous whistleblower has leaked a government document to the media showing alarming plans to impose Cockney rhyming slang on all northerners by the end of 2021. The document clearly shows that a project, headed by Michael Gove, is to make sp…
Read full storyGeorge Michael To Be Remembered Again At Christmas
As the world tries desperately to come to terms with the Coronavirus and all the changes it has brought to everyday life, it's fair to say that this Christmas might be one unlike any other. Shopping for presents in the High Street, if it's permitt…
Read full storyTrump to Pardon Matt Gaetz From Any Pending Charges That He’s an Annoying Tool
Washington - President Donald Trump, on his way out of the White House after being defeated by Joe Biden, has pardoned a number of his political cronies including, recently, formerly National Security Advisor Michael Flynn. He is also considering pa…
Read full storyMatch.com Profile Wins Pulitzer for Fiction; Ransom Note Wins for Poetry
NEW YORK – The 2020 Pulitzer Prize winners were announced today, and among the Fiction and Poetry categories were two surprises. In the fiction category, the match.com profile of Dennis Snead of Burlington, Wisconsin, was selected for its ‘innova…
Read full storyFreezing German farm cats give farmer filthy looks and 'down tools!'
(NOT EDITED) Eifel, Germany: A bunch of shivering farm cats, not allowed into the farmhouse because they should be doing their jobs; hunting mice in the barn, and outside, have decided to go on strike because their butts are too cold! Farm cats ca…
Read full story'The Voice' Results Infuriate Millions of Fans
HOLLYWOOD – (Satire News) – The 19th season of the singing competition show, “The Voice”, has just become the most controversial ever. In a move that fans described as stupid, dumb, and even Trumpian, the producers, for reasons known only to Bravo…
Read full storyPresident Trump Praises The Founder of the Ku Klux Klan
CRACKERHEAD, Georgia – (Satire News) - The President spoke before a crowd of 27 at a Walmart parking lot, and told them that he promises he will never, ever leave the White House, even if someone kidnaps his son, Eric. Trump, who is becoming more…
Read full storyThe NFL Bans Tailgate Parties
NEW YORK CITY – (Sports Satire) – Due to the increasing Coronapalooza numbers, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell has decided to put an end to the traditional Sunday football game tailgate parties in the stadium parking lots. Goodell told Sports Terri…
Read full storyPresident Trump Sells a Destroyer to Kim Jong-un
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – The FBI has announced that the United States government has just sold a U.S. destroyer to North Korea. FBI agent Aloysius Browser told the news media that the sale was discovered when a White House cleaning lady…
Read full storySean Hannity Tells President Trump To High-Tail It To Mexico Mucho Quicko
NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – In what many television news reporters are saying is an amazing development in The Trump Gone Bat Shit Crazy Saga, the President’s biggest supporter, bar none, has just given him some earth-shattering news. POTUS ma…
Read full storyJake Tapper Interviews Dog With Two Assholes
BILLINGSGATE POST: In an interview scheduled to be aired on Thursday, CNN’s Jake Tapper scores the first known interview of a dog with two assholes. The wily Tapper insisted that Joe Biden, along with his sidekick, Kamala “Breath” Harris, bring…
Read full storyMan Says There Is No Need For Russia To Be So Big
A casual glance cast over any world map will show the viewer the immense dimensions of the territory of Russia, with its huge wide-open tracts of land and empty spaces, and it's been claimed by one man that there is absolutely no need whatsoever for…
Read full storyOld soldiers found on Western Front, still fighting.
(NOT EDITED) A group of soldiers have been found in a remote part of Belgium. So what you say? Well, these are World War ONE soldiers!! They have stayed in combat for the last 116 years. The division of 30 military troops have been fighting under…
Read full storyISIS Targets U.S.Comic Book Market
ISIS is reported to be using old established oil smuggling routes to sell oil on the black market again...for thousands of dollars. It used to be millions and millions of dollars, but thanks to the oil glut, that revenue stream is drying up faster ex…
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