Match.com Profile Wins Pulitzer for Fiction; Ransom Note Wins for Poetry

Funny story written by Wildpete

Wednesday, 2 December 2020

image for Match.com Profile Wins Pulitzer for Fiction; Ransom Note Wins for Poetry
Meerkats have nothing to do with this story

NEW YORK – The 2020 Pulitzer Prize winners were announced today, and among the Fiction and Poetry categories were two surprises.

In the fiction category, the match.com profile of Dennis Snead of Burlington, Wisconsin, was selected for its ‘innovative look at the world of romance’. Pulitzer chairman Pearl Nobbit complimented the profile as ‘a surreal account of the life of the everyday man. Playing the games we are forced into in this modern day world of dating will take a toll on a man, and it is front and center in this profile.’

Snead cleverly crafted the fact that he lives with his parents as ‘caring for the elderly’. He turned his lottery addiction into ‘contributor to education’. Finally, he lists himself as an ‘antique curator’ in describing his Star Wars Pez collection.

Also a surprise, was the ransom note for 10-year-old Willy Blodgett. ‘Most of the ransom notes that you find these days are hastily-scrawled demands for money, and threats to the victim,’ said Nobbit. ‘Willy’s note was a fully-formed sonnet, using the ‘abbaabba’ rhyme scheme in the first eight lines, and the controversial ‘cdedce’ rhyming scheme in the last 6 lines.’ The fact that Willy was safely returned to his parents seems to have helped the case for the poet.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!


Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more