WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – The FBI has announced that the United States government has just sold a U.S. destroyer to North Korea.
FBI agent Aloysius Browser told the news media that the sale was discovered when a White House cleaning lady found a copy of the sales slip in the Oval Office trash basket.
Agent Browser said he could not divulge too much information for classified reasons, but he did say that the USS Johnny Appleseed was built at a cost of $2.7 billion, and was commissioned just two years ago.
Back in March, the Johnny Appleseed was involved in a collision with a Bolivian PT Boat, El Numero 680239, as both were entering the Suez Canal.
The skipper of the Bolivian boat, Captain Timmy "Tequilaman" Torres, was fired after he showed an alcohol level of 7.6%, which is way, way above the accepted level for a member of the Bolivian navy.
The FBI said that an investigation into the sale of the Johnny Appleseed has discovered that President Trump sold the destroyer to his pen pal-lover Kim Jong-un for the unbelievably low price of $18,798.
When FBI investigators asked Trump about this highly illegal sale, he simply replied that he has never heard of the 'USS Johnny Appleseed', and added that, since he is still the legal president of the United States, if he wanted to, he could sell the damn Statue of Liberty to Cuba for $45.