Putin Says US Elections Were Flawed
Vladimir Putin, whose political opponents usually end up dead, shot in the back, falling out of windows, poisoned with umbrellas, or served radioactive tea at the Millennium Hotel in London, had the chops to say that the US 2020 Presidential Election…
Read full storyBoris asks the public for help with his password
Since his sinister adviser Dominic Cummings has gone, Boris Johnson's buffoonery has been allowed to romp unchecked. Numerous incidents in recent days have raised alarm among the PM's handlers. First, he posted a photo of his testes on Twitter, mi…
Read full storyPet psychic claims Biden's dog caused foot injury as "test of his master”
Newly-famous pet psychic Beth Lee-Crowther has come forward to offer guidance on what just happened to cause Mr. Biden's foot injury. According to The Daily Beast, Ms. Lee-Crowther, from the English midlands, has established telepathic contact wit…
Read full storyTom Brady: I Want to Play in Shitty Markets Until I’m 50
He has six Super Bowl rings and 14 Pro Bowl appearances. And he’s a shoo-in for the Pro Football Hall of Fame. But don’t expect Tampa Bay Buccaneers quarterback and New England Patriots legend Tom Brady to hang up his bulky knee brace anytime…
Read full storyUruguayan greetings sensitive Brits will 'nunca comprender! What a load of 'cojones!'
(NOT EDITED) Innocent, South American footy players, earning their dosh in the UK, are mostly unaware of ultra-sensitive Brits, willing to pounce on anything they do, or say, without even understanding a single thing about South American cultures, tr…
Read full storyBlob Fish still not featuring on Christmas Cards
Despite their physical beauty, beguiling personalities, and association with the festive season, the lowly blobfish is yet to appear on a single Christmas card. 'It is quite strange when you think about it, and I think about it a lot,' said cuddly…
Read full storySanta Claus Told To Stay At Home This Christmas
It's been announced in the last few minutes that a Coronavirus Think Tank made up of representatives from the world's leading powers has issued a strong warning to Santa Claus, telling him to stay at home this Christmas. Claus is known to be somet…
Read full storyLast Tuesday Night - The New Nostalgia Show
The BBC has launched details of a new show, called Last Tuesday Night. Hosted by Sara Pascoe, Romesh Ranganathan and roving reporter Richard Osman, it is a lazy cash-in on nostalgia shows, blending news with humorous sketches. At some point, Jon R…
Read full storyBBC Tampering With Song: Man To Say The Word 'Faggot' Every Day Until Christmas
The BBC's tampering with the words of The Pogues' Christmas classic song, 'Fairy Tale Of New York', in order to pander to snowflakes, has got one man so angry, that he's claimed he will say the word 'Faggot' every day until Christmas. And possibly…
Read full storyCher becomes victim of hungry elephant's gluttony.
In breaking news, singer Cher has been eaten by Kaavan, the elephant that she sponsored to be moved to a zoo in Cambodia. The singer was visiting the animal in its new lodgings when, just as Cher was serenading the elephant, she was lifted up by Kaav…
Read full storyMaria Bartiromo Has Just Become The Most Hated Woman In America
NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – Many U.S. news agencies are reporting that Fox News host, Maria Bartiromo, has just become the most hated woman in America. Bartiromo, who is 53, but looks 83, interviewed President Trump, and, after she finished, s…
Read full storyThe New York Jets Fire Their Entire Cheerleading Squad
NEW YORK CITY – (Sports Satire) – New York sports fans, like Boston and Philadelphia sports fans, can be downright mean and nasty when it comes to their home teams. Several years ago, Philadelphia Phillies fans booed the Easter Bunny. And, just la…
Read full storyIowa Evangelicals Demand That The Word 'Fuck' Be Banned
DES MOINES, Iowa - (Satire News) – Thousands of Iowa evangelicals have made it known that they are sick and tired of so many of its citizens using the word “fuck” or its derivatives such as “fuck it”, or “that’s fucked up”, or “Trump’s a ‘fucking’ as…
Read full storyCalifornia Fears That The Golden Gate Bridge Could End Up in Nevada
CARPINTERIA, California – (Satire News) - There is lots of concern in California, as earthquake experts from Left Coast College are predicting that a big earthquake could be right around the corner. According to tests being run in Japan, they fee…
Read full storyThe Wonderful World Of Uninteresting Animals #9: The Dugong
The dugong is severely uninteresting. Its name is uninteresting; its appearance is uninteresting; and, by God, everything else about it is just as uninteresting - if not more so. For a start, the name 'dugong' has a rather uninteresting ring to it…
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