Putin Says US Elections Were Flawed

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Tuesday, 1 December 2020

image for Putin Says US Elections Were Flawed
"I was misquoted."

Vladimir Putin, whose political opponents usually end up dead, shot in the back, falling out of windows, poisoned with umbrellas, or served radioactive tea at the Millennium Hotel in London, had the chops to say that the US 2020 Presidential Election was flawed and that Joe Biden was not the true president-elect.

A pal of Donald Trump, Putin defends himself (with a facial expression suggesting the need for a gulp of Pepto-Bismol) arguing: What else could he say? That Biden beat the pants off Trump? That the voters caught Trump with his pants down? That on his way to victory, Trump lost his pants?

Editor’s note: Putin seems to have a fixation on Trump’s pants.

Reply: Putin suffers from a limited analogy bank.

Asked why he hadn’t congratulated Biden on his political win, Putin put Trump’s pants aside, and his diplomatic hat on, "It would not be proper to congratulate Biden. We are just waiting for an end to the domestic political standoff."

Told that there wasn’t a political standoff, and that the election was already decided with Biden elected as the 2020 winner, Putin shrugged and appeared to fall asleep.

But before falling asleep, Putin seemed to be quoting Trump and other Republicans, including Giuliani, who insisted that, though the election was still undecided, Trump had won in a landslide.

Could Putin have been suggesting that the election was an undecided landslide win for Trump?

Another Putin: Who's on first?

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The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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