
Neocons Dismayed to Realize New "Public Charge" Rule Means Immigrants May Take Jobs Americans Actually Want
While neoconservatives initially applauded President Donald Trump's new "public charge" rule, tying green card eligibility to immigrants' financial resources and education levels, they were dismayed to subsequently realize that the new law means that...
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Ambitious Millennial opens bar in parents' basement
30-year-old Joe Taylor has reportedly opened a bar in the basement of his parents’ home in London. Joe’s most frequent customer is Mr. David Taylor, a lawyer at a prestigious law firm. He is reportedly depressed, and jumps at the chance of walkin...
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Nashville Man Reluctantly Decides to Go Extinct
"I think it's the responsible thing to do," said Blake Tucker of Nashville, Tennessee, regarding his reluctant decision to go extinct. "The planet can't continue to support my existence. The Tucker line just isn't sustainable." The decision to go...
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Harry Maguire Says He Didn't Sign Last Season Because Jose Mourinho Was Manager
Manchester United central defender, Harry Maguire has revealed the real reason he didn't sign for the club a year ago, when Jose Mourinho was the Reds' boss: Jose Mourinho. Maguire, 26, had been on the United radar for the last two summer breaks,…
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