Weed & Pistachio Ice Cream A Big Hit On 4/20 Holiday Weedend
San Francisco, Ca - (High Times): Sales of stoners’ favorite ice cream have gone through the roof at downtown’s Hippy Shack Gelateria where quarts of pasteurised pistachio and sinsemilla are being snapped up pronto-prontissimo in a two hundred bucks...
Read full storyLooser Guccifer 2.0 blows whistle on Hillary and Mueller as they celebrate The Report in sleazy nightclub
Once again Looser Guccifer 2.0 has come forward to The Guard Dog to blow the whistle and serve the public on what is still dark and unknown. Ms. Clinton and Mr. Mueller followed up on release of The Mueller Report with a private party at Club Met...
Read full story“This Is The End Of My Presidency. I’m F——ked.”
Told that a Special Counsel had been appointed to investigate his election, Donald Trump said out loud, “This is the end of my presidency. I’m f——ked.” Meaning: I’m finished. Aside from being a confession of guilt, why? What would Special Couns...
Read full storyThe Fat Lady Sings: The Trump Runner Vanquishes Wile E Mueller
BILLINGSGATE POST: Somewhere Southwest of Nowhere, deep in the Sonoran Desert, a solitary Saguaro cacti is weeping with joy, its outstretched arms lifted in exhaltation in celebration of Good (Trump) over Evil (Mueller). Supplicant over the past...
Read full storyUniversity Professor Relieved It Was Original Notre Dame that Burned
When not-yet-tenured business law professor Carson Hale first heard that the historic Notre Dame had suffered severe damage due to a catastrophic fire, his first gulity concern was what the horrific "act of God" might mean for his professional prospe...
Read full storyMan Tries To Clone Ian Curtis
A man who read something in a book about the legendary Joy Division frontman, Ian Curtis, who committed suicide in 1980, has embarked upon a crackpot scheme to clone the singer, it's been claimed. Moys Kenwood, who was 16 at the time of Curtis' un...
Read full storyFirst Year College Student Wards Off Sexual Advances From Academic Advisor While Maintaining Ferocious And Uncontrollable Desire To Become A Historical Archivist
Winneshiek County, Iowa. After clearly stating that he did not want to experience the details of a hot, steamy, intensely-wild, "out-of-control" sex-driven relationship that could possibly go wrong several years down the road, 18-year-old Jeremy Lan...
Read full storyMan Admits That The First Time He Heard 'Underpass' By John Foxx, He Thought The Singer Was Singing 'Underpants'
A man who describes himself as "a music enthusiast" has revealed how, the first time he heard the John Foxx single 'Underpass', in January 1980, his ears told him that the singer had sung 'Underpants'. Foxx, formerly with Ultravox, had parted comp…
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