“This Is The End Of My Presidency. I’m F——ked.”

Written by K.C. Bell

Friday, 19 April 2019

image for “This Is The End Of My Presidency. I’m F——ked.”
"Ain't I just a clever and great guy?"

Told that a Special Counsel had been appointed to investigate his election, Donald Trump said out loud, “This is the end of my presidency. I’m f——ked.”

Meaning: I’m finished.

Aside from being a confession of guilt, why? What would Special Counsel Mueller discover about Donald Trump that would end his presidency? Furthermore, why would his administration be terminated and f——ked? Or are they the same thing, as in one the motivation of the other? It's confusing.

Now that the Mueller report is out, and his two-year investigation has come to a close, Attorney General Barr is attempting to white-wash the entire story, clearing Trump, claiming there’s nothing to see here, and flushing the report away. However, the report is thick, continues to be spun around by the news media, coming back up in the bowl of public opinion.

And it just doesn’t smell right.

When asked, Barr described his actions as: Just having landed the plane. Don't ask me any questions. But keep your seat belts on.

The Attorney General's title zoomed straight to his head.

Special Counsel Mueller didn’t indict any of the Trump children because the report claimed they weren’t sophisticated enough to understand election rules.

“I love it!”

However, Trump children are hitting forty, college graduates with degrees, often trumpeted from Wharton. If they were considered innocent due to the absence of sophistication, why is there such a thing as a Juvenile Court? Or maybe the Trump children should be tried in Juvenile Court?

“I, I, I, don’t love that!”

In the maze of the Mueller report, the Russians promised that Trump could make billions if he worked with Russia. Billions? (Some carrot.) Bingo!

Campaign manager Paul Manafort gave Russian oligarch Kilimnik polling data about battleground states Michigan, Wisconsin, and Pennsylvania. The three states ended up swinging for Trump, giving him the Electoral College majority, and landing him in the White House with a boom.

Having advanced polling data from battleground swing states, Russian hackers could have flipped votes before election night. Trump won the Electoral College by only 77,744 votes.

“I’m so f——ked.”

Read more by this author:

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more