Dildos Intimidate Gun Club Members
A sportsman's club in Pennsylvania claims an animal rights group tormented its members with "emotional violence" to protest its using pigeons for target shooting. Philadelphia Gun & Hunting Inc. filed a federal lawsuit against the animal right...
Read full storyNigella Turned Back at Airport - but Visa then granted America's Purity and Morality Saved Just in Time
A legitimate online flight booking to L. A. by F.B.I's most wanted T.V. cook Nigella Lawson was used to alert Captain America yesterday. The Superhero swooped down to confront and humiliate the highly lethal English Lady. With nothing better to...
Read full storyShaquille O'Neal: Hey Kobe Bryant, I Can Still Play and Guess Who Can't?
LOS ANGELES - It certainly looks like Shaquille O'Neal has just bested Kobe Bryant in their ongoing feud. Bryant started it by saying that Shaq was one of the laziest players that he had ever played with. O'Neal fired back commenting that Kobe...
Read full storyGovernor Jan Brewer Demands That The City of Yuma Either Sell or Destroy Its Lesbionic Statue
YUMA, Arizona - Governor Jan Brewer recently visited the city of Yuma and she was shocked to see there in the middle of town a statue of three lesbianites. Governor Brewer asked a local resident what the hell the statue was doing there. She was...
Read full storyJimmy Fallon Explains College Sports
So, there's all of this talk about college players wanting to be in a player's union ever since a labor board said it's ok for foootballers at Northwestern to unionize. But the bosses of all the college athletes say they don't want players in...
Read full storyRand Paul: No Global Warming
The White House is feeding a bunch of lies to the public, according to possible Presidential Candidate Rand Paul. For ever top scientist that has been taking your tax money for their projects, there are just as many honest scientists that say it's...
Read full storyThe White House Reports That China Has Offered To Buy Yellowstone National Park
WASHINGTON, D.C. - White House Press Secretary Cal Colfax has informed the news media that President Obama has just received a text message from the government of China. Secretary Colfax stated that the Republic of China is very interested in purc...
Read full storySenate Foreign Relations Committee in lockdown ahead of Passover's 'blood-red' eclipsed fool moon
Washington - Senators with relations committed in Israel have been told to stay dead schtum ahead of next week's great big blood-red eclipsed full moon just as Passover starts on Monday night. An extremely rare Sun-Earth-Moon-Mars alignment that h...
Read full storyPresident Obama Is Sending Vice-President Biden To The Ukraine
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Due to the fact that the situation with Russia and the Ukraine is starting to escalate President Obama has announced that he will be sending the vice-president to the Ukraine on a look-see visit. Vice-President Biden will see fi...
Read full storyParis Hilton Says She Has The Answer To The California Earthquake Problems
BEVERLY HILLS - Paris Hilton has always stated that she has a reputation for being a ditzy blonde but she says nothing could be farther from the truth. She recently told Gary Busey host of The Gorgeous Gary Busey Show that she is really a whole lo...
Read full storyVladimir Putin Says He Has Never Heard Of The Ritz and Vows To Return It To Russia
Moscow - Russian President Vladimir Putin on Wednesday stated emphatically that he has never been on The Ritz and in fact is not and has never been associated with The Ritz. "I do not know what Ritz is," said Putin, "I have not been on Ritz."...
Read full storyCucamonga Teacher Invents Earthquake Underwear Spray
CUCAMONGA - Petula Lemonfizz, who has lived in California all of her life has just become an overnight millionaire. The Cucamonga English teacher said that she just got sick and tired of having her bra and panties end up around her ankles every ti...
Read full storyMalaysian plane last seen heading towards Mars!
NASA have confirmed that one of their satellites spotted the lost Malaysian plane being towed by a UFO and it was heading in the direction of Mars! A white light spotted on the Martian service is guiding the UFO and the captured plane towards a ru...
Read full storyArchie Andrews Soon to Die. Jughead, Betty and Veronica Mourn
New York, NY (STT News) - Archie Comics, long-time carrier of the iconic character, Archie and his pal, Jughead, has announced the planned death of their historic creation. Founded in 1939, Archie Comics has been a staple for generations of reader...
Read full storyLibrary Van Carrying Porn to All in Buffort County
After receiving several calls from irate customers, the head librarian told the library van driver to go right back and bring ALL their books back in or they were in serious trouble. Soon the police also arrived at the Buffort Library. Seems that...
Read full storyPrince George Sent Home From Australian Royal Tour For Shitting Pants
The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have sent son Prince George back home to London after he defecated in his diaper during their tour of New Zealand and Australia; The Royal Couple calling the future King's behaviour "Unacceptable." The pooping occ...
Read full storyWorld Cup 2014 News Algérie
The World Cup is coming! And everyone in Algérie is excited on tenterhooks! The World Cup is played every four years and it is in a different country every time. This year it is in Brazil which is the best team and they will win - but not if the A...
Read full storyFlorida Man Gives Outback One Last Chance
Despite some bad experiences, a Florida man has had while dining at popular Australian themed restaurant 'Outback' in the past, Duncan Whitehead has decided to give the restaurant one last chance. "I'll give them one last shot. But if they screw...
Read full storyCulture Vulture
There was trouble at mill as the Culture Vulture, who nobody loves, Maria Miller, threw in the towel after ten rounds of her heavy weight bout with her supporters at the highly esteemed Mail and Telegraph. She suffered severe wounding to her pride...
Read full storyAl-Qaeda Says That If Sarah Palin Thinks They Can Actually Cause Earthquakes Then She's Fruitier Than A Corsicana Fruit Cake
WASILLA, Alaska - Sarah Palin recently told Political Salad Bar Magazine that she really and truly believes that the earthquakes that have been devastating California are being caused by Al-Qaeda operatives living in the USA. A spokesperson for th...
Read full storyUkraine Troops Vow That They Will Never Surrender To Putin's Army
KIEV, Ukraine - Members of the Ukraine's Front Line Guards have vowed to fight the invading infidels with all of their might. Ukrainian General Ropet Kharavisk has commented that he is not afraid of Putin's powerful army because he knows that the...
Read full storyMichelle Obama Wants To Spend $9.3 Million To Have The US Capitol Building Painted Pink
WASHINGTON, D.C. - A lot of American taxpayers are very upset with First Lady Michelle Obama's plans for the United States Capitol Building. According to American Spotlight Magazine, Mrs. Obama has decided that she wants to have the capitol buildi...
Read full storyJustin Bieber Disappointed After Meeting Fan
Miami- Canadian Pop Star, Justin Bieber who on Tuesday finally met longtime fan Fabiola Nunesdelatorre, 58, found the encounter anticlimactic, the award winning and multi million selling singer said. "I don't know, from her fan mail, e-mails,...
Read full storyArizona Governor Jan Brewer Names The Tumbleweed As The New State Flower
PHOENIX - Lame duck Governor Jan Brewer has just issued a Governor's Proclamation which names the tumbleweed as the new state flower. Governor Brewer said that she just felt that it was time to replace the saguaro cactus which has been the state f...
Read full storyButterbean to play for the Texans
Houston, Texas- It is the news that they didn't want to get out but it has and head coach Bill O'Brien is not impressed. "I don't know how you found out but I am not impressed," he hollered over the phone from his office. Butterbean was seen a...
Read full storyHomeless man claims Pharrell stole his hat
Controversy has raised it's ugly head in the form of forty four year old drifter Albey Piesmark. The homeless man of no fixed address from St. Louis approached TMZ with allegations that Pharrell stole his hat. The iconic hat that Pharrell has rec...
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