New York, NY (STT News) - Archie Comics, long-time carrier of the iconic character, Archie and his pal, Jughead, has announced the planned death of their historic creation.
Founded in 1939, Archie Comics has been a staple for generations of readers. But the times, they are a changing and because honesty and goodness are no longer the politically correct preferences of choice of America in the 21st century, Archie must die.
When contacted for some detailed explanation, the person answering the phone told senior STT reporter, Monica Mayhem, to 'Go f**k yourself!'.
"I didn't know what to say... so I did. I went and I f**ked myself and enjoyed it quite a lot, thank you!"
Left to assume whatever death scenario awaits, most of the main scream news media are now playing bets in Las Vegas that Archie will either be mugged and shot by some street thug or be tasered, beaten and then shot by police in Chicago, Detroit or Los Angeles.
However, one anonymous tipster suggests that the death will be at the hands of Veronica, who finally snaps when she catches Archie Andrews in bed with her nemesis-friend, Betty. "She just loses it, grabs a nearby coloring pencil and stabs him 132 times in the stomach."
No matter, Life with Archie now comes to an abrupt end.
On a side note, students at UC Berkley are planning a 'Death to Archie' party at People's Park... as soon as the comic hits the stands. Ironically, no weapons will be allowed.
