Written by dutch

Sunday, 27 March 2011

The enigmatic moon man has successfully predicted several earthquakes in New Zealand as well as the Japanese Tsunami and the grounding of ships off the coast of the Isle of Wight. The charismatic moon whisperer is able to predict these events by examining the effect of the lunar gravitational pull of the moon on the tectonic plates of the earth's crust.

Scientists disparaged 'Mr Moon's' predictions and 'betted' against an earthquake happening in Christchurch but they were proved wrong when the after-shock 'quake did in fact happen.

Christchurch residents superstitiously left the city for the country before the 'after shock' happened like Moon had predicted. One lady said that Moon 'was able to predict the future as accurately as Nostradamus.

The enigmatic Mr Moon is able to examine the gravitational pull of the moon when it has been passing incredibly close to the earth and hence exerting a strong gravitational pull and effecting the ebbs and flows of the tides.

The Isle of Wight has experienced five ships which have been grounded on sandbanks off the coast of the Isle of Wight and Moon said that this was caused by the gravitational pull of the Moon directly affecting the ley lines which lay underneath the Isle of Wight and beneath some of the most ancient churches, which were once pagan worshipping sites.

Moon said that the 'gravitational pull' of the Moon was because the Moon's trajectory was much closer to the Earth than it had been for decades. Moon said that the ley lines under the ancient Celtic places of worship, had been affected by the power of the Moon's magnetism; and he feared that some of the most beautiful ancient churches built over pagan worship sites could be in danger of crumbling.

The clergy of the Isle of Wight have dismissed his speculations as superstitious 'twaddle' and said that the ancient churches were perfectly safe as places of worship and had been consecrated to God.

He warned the Islanders to be on their guard as the 'end times' were coming and told them to stock up with provisions and to build a fall-out shelter as the 'writing was on the wall' and the apocalypse was getting ever closer.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Isle of Wight

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