Written by MonkeyInTheBath

Sunday, 27 March 2011

image for Ed Miliband explains how Labour's cuts would be "likeable"
Ed Miliband explains his party's stance on spending cuts

At a union-organised rally against government spending cuts, the Labour leader of the opposition Ed Miliband explained how his party would have handled the financial crisis.

He said, "This government must not go ahead with these spending cuts. If only Labour had won the last election, we would not have made these cuts."

"Of course we would have made some cuts - there is no choice given the current government debt - but we would have made different cuts. Nice cuts. Lovely, fluffy, friendly cuts."

"This government is cutting spending by 20% across all departments. Instead, we would have cut something else. We would cut bankers salaries, if only that was something we were able to control. We would cut things that are unpopular, like military spending or welfare handouts - but then again the Tories are cutting them anyway."

"But we would definitely cut something, and do it in a nicer way than this government would. Or maybe we would wait a year, and then make cuts. Procrastination always helps."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: ed Miliband, Cuts

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