Cuba to produce first super car
Cuba is about to introduce its first super car, nine years after Fidel Castro promised changes to improve the Cuban economy. The "Fast Granma" prototype was first revealed to the press. The Cubans plan on first introducing the vehicle to Brazilia...
Read full storyShylock Humes And The Narwhal's Tusk Scrimshaw, Part Two
The man who stood in our doorway was breathing heavily. A swarthy, weathered leathery face with a cudgeled nose peered out from beneath a forward-tilted ancient green billycock hat and from between luxuriant long side-whiskers of the sort formerly termed Piccadilly weepers. The dark visage was screwed up as if it faced an Atlantic storm, rather than our humble sitting-room. A shiny, blue serge dou...
Read full storyGherkin Architect was inspired by Cucumber
Cucumber's are getting a lot of bad press lately given the e-coli scare in Germany. However, an unlikely voice has come to the defence of the under fire 'Cucumber' Probably, the most recognisable building in London's Financial district, 30 St Mary...
Read full storyWeiner dazed & confused on how "Cucumber Got Papped in My Shorts!"
'Weinergate' continues to escalate with Staunch Democratic Congress Member Anthony Weiner now waffling over his Penis Pix saying "I can't say with Certitude that it's not mine, it may be a cucumber that inadvertently slipped into my shorts while I wa...
Read full story'Hold Those Derby Bets!' - astrologers warn as Sport of Kings stymied by King of the Gods
Epsom - The Queen's runner Carlton House is whors de combat tonight ahead of shifting starry patterns before the big race. Antepost punters were already wary this morning as news of its sprained ankle took the market by storm. Now the rapidly c...
Read full storyLooking for World Recognition, Kazakhstan hires BP to Drill them: "A Really big Oil Spill"
The president of Kazakhstan, Nursultan Nazasomething, a name that no one has a clue how to pronounce, more or less spell; has announced that they have hired British Petroleum (BP) to drill in the Caspian Sea, just off the coast of Kazakhstan, to crea...
Read full storyGordon Strachan Helps Neil Lennon Out
Despite being in between clubs at the moment, Gordon Strachan has launched a new body - the Tenacious Ginger Managers Association. Strachan has formed the TGMA as he feels that the League Managers Association does not provide enough protection or...
Read full storyAstronomers Spend Ten Years Researching for Poster
Researchers at the Harvard-Smithsonian Center for Astrophysics have recently released the most complete 3D map of the known universe. The 2MASS Redshift Survey project took the better part of ten years to complete and spans a whopping 380 million lig...
Read full storyThe Pizzeria Restaurant Waiter Reveals What Sarah Palin And Donald Trump Talked About At Their Times Square Meeting
MANHATTAN- One of the most talked about meetings since LeBron James met with the owner of the Miami Heat while he was still a Cleveland Cavalier took place in one of New York City's Pizzerias. Donald "The Hairdo" Trump and Sarah "Crosshairs" Palin met at New York's Famiglia Pizzeria located in Times Square. Their waiter Guido Casserole, 43, said that Mr. Trump had a Personal Pan Pepperoni Pi...
Read full storyOffice Survival Tips
OFFICE SURVIVAL TIPS 1: No matter how much the printer might frustrate you, do not yell at it. It can't hear you. 2: Just because you don't like doing it, doesn't mean it's not part of your job. 3: If you're not sure what someone is saying when they're talking, it's probably best not to try to correct them on anything they just said. 4: If you're tired and a coworker says, "Here, t...
Read full storyDisclaimers and Vegetarians - My Opinion
Sometimes you'll see the disclaimer, "No animals were harmed during the making of this film", at the end of a movie. I think that's a rather bold statement. I'm watching the movie thinking, "I know for a fact around the time they were making this movie that I ran over a squirrel and accidentally locked my cat in a closet over a weekend." Did they have a crew go out and survey people? They s...
Read full storyThe Average American Motorist Rulebook
Here is a guide to help ensure you drive like the rest of America. DON'T BE AWARE While driving, keep in mind that everyone else on the road should be looking out for you. Therefore, there is no reason for you to be aware of your surroundings. A perfect example of this would be not checking your blind spot when trying to change lanes. In fact, there's no need to even check your mirrors...
Read full storyMeghan Daum is Smart, Diagnoses Barack Obama's Stammer
In a recent column in the LA Times, writer Meghan Daum explained to America that anytime President Obama stumbles over his words, it's because of an "intellectual stammer." Needless to say, doctors were amazed that they had missed this diagnosis and...
Read full storySony Blames Harold Camping for prolonged PSN outage
The weeks of the Playstation Network being down was frustrating for many gamers. What was even more frustrating was the constant reassurance that the network would be back up soon, with that date being pushed farther and farther back. Many gamers v...
Read full storySepp Blatter Tightens Grip On FIFA
Reigning President Sepp Blatter was re-elected unopposed to the post and the 75 year old Swiss lost no time in tightening his grip on the association. The 4th termer, who has been under severe pressure in recent weeks due to claims of bribery and...
Read full story"World Cup will only be hosted by countries who pay me the most," declares FIFA boss!
Austrian FIFA boss, Sepp Blatter, is changing future bids for countries hoping to host the World Cup. He has had enough of other FIFA board members being charmed with mega-bucks and bribed to vote for certain oil-rich countries. In the future, the co...
Read full storyNina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder To Star In "The Attack of The Cucumber Vampires From Hell"
LOS ANGELES - Lion's Face Films in association with The Monteverdi Brothers and TouchRock Films has announced that they are currently in production on the vampire-culinary epic The Attack of The Cucumber Vampires From Hell. The movie is set in the...
Read full storyJabba the Hut to sue Rupert Murdoch for Identity Theft
News Corporation newspaper The Mercury reports that six hundred year old crime boss Jabba the Hut (aka Jabba Desilijic Tiure) is to sue News Corporation CEO Rupert Murdoch. In a case that is sure to set a legal precedent the crime lord of assassin...
Read full storyWeiner is Too big To Fail!
The controversy over the provocative photo on Congressman Anthony Weiner's twitter page doesn't seem to be going away. Weiner is vehemently denying he had anything to do with it. However, rumors are rampant that the photo did indeed come from his off...
Read full storyBankers fear Battersea Power Station is sinking
London - A bloody great big hole has appeared in the Battersea business plan sinking fund. For decades cracks in the Power Station's ownership documents had been dismissed as investor paranoia. Now work on legal papers for the proposed Thames S...
Read full storyDaleks 'Unhappy' With Treatment From Dr Who Producer
The Daleks, famous adversaries for many a Dr Who over the decades, have spoken out over their apparent snub from executive producer Steven Moffat. Talking openly in that voice they do, Davros, leader of the Daleks was mystified as to why they were...
Read full storyPalin Recruits Trump for 2012 Presidential Run
Continuing on her unofficial, unannounced, non-campaign bus and motorcycle tour of America, Sarah Palin stopped in New York to reportedly "Not recruit" Donald Trump as running partner for the 2012 presidential campaign. Dropping her bike leathers...
Read full storyThe late Osama Bin Laden in running for FIFA presidency
Just when Sepp Blatter thought it was safe to deposit slush-hush money in his Swiss bank account, a late, second candidate has blown in and declared himself for the controversial presidency of international football association FIFA. The late Osam...
Read full storyNonce had photos of female tennis players in his shed
Retired Maths teacher Eric Nonce faces further questioning by Dorking Vice Squad. The member of the public has already been named as the one who used crossword expertise to 'out' Celebrity Imogen Thomas as' A Smooth Minge' during a local Surrey Qu...
Read full storyBubble Bath for Allardyce
Bouncing bubbles greeted new West Ham manager Sam Allardyce as he stepped from cloud nine on his journey to Upton Park where he was to meet the loyal supporters of West Ham United. Before throwing Sam (whose American Uncle is well known in the Sta...
Read full storyConfusion and FEAR in the Vegetable Garden
The issue of colicumbers and whether they contained Spanish, German or Dutch diseases has been put on the compost heap where it is hotting up. With lettuces and tomatoes joining in the great FEAR factor eating any vegetables now has become more ri...
Read full storyAndy Murray To Play With 2 Injured Ankles
World Number 4 Andy Murray has been playing so much better at the French Open with his injured ankle that he is set to deliberately hurt the other one before he takes the court for his quarter final clash against Juan Ignacio Chelo this afternoon.
Read full storyHow Parents Explain "The Birds And The Bees" To Their Children Around The World
At some point in every parents life there comes a time when they must explain that very fundamental but mysterious and appealing fact of life to their offspring- the sex act. Not an easy task for anyone, including our neighbors around the world. Let's take a look at how other nationalities, races, cultures and religions handle this most difficult of subjects to discuss with your young ones. How...
Read full storyThe Pebble with a Red Streak - Part VI
As days went by, the boy began to show signs and symptoms of socio-phobia. Having no expertise to treat the boy; he become housebound. However, his mother as usual would open up her poor heart to other females who would recommend various ways of treatments, some similar to the pumpkin remedy. Nevertheless, one day a woman suggested she take the afflicted son to a Jinn-repeller, sorcerer. F...
Read full story"Hangover Part II" Sets A Weekend Record - Charlie Sheen Agrees To Appear In "Hangover Part III"
HOLLYWOOD - The producers of Hangover Part II are ecstatic as their comedy motion picture has just broken the opening weekend record for a comedy film. The Tinsel Town Times Tribune stated that the motion picture had grossed $85,946,294 for the Me...
Read full storyCucumbers
This reporter has only just heard why cucumbers are in the news AGAIN. My husband told me when I told him cucumber stories were running rife on the Spoof. I live in a farming area and just ate some fresh slices of locally grown cucumber today. Our cucumbers appear to be fine so I would advise those who love the cucumber, to import them from Ontario. Sad that people have died from tainted cuc...
Read full storyManchester United's Entire Roster Traded to US for Obama and Congress
Manchester United has announced that they have traded their entire roster to the United States for Barack Obama and the US Congress. "I just simply have had it with all the headaches that these prima donnas have given me", stated a relieved Sir...
Read full storyKirstie Alley Says That Being On Dancing With The Stars Has Helped Her Go Down To A Size 6 - Hmmm
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Kirstie Alley has said that she was actually thrilled at the fact that she managed to make it all the way to The Dancing With The Stars finals and end up finishing number two. Alley and her partner, Maksim Chmerkovskiy, aka "The Bad Boy of The Ballroom," were beaten by Pittsburgh Steelers wide receiver Hines Ward and his pro partner Australia's Kym Johnson. Kirstie entered...
Read full storyAustrian Tennis Player May Have To Bribe Appeal Panel
The Austrian tennis player, Daniel Koellerer, who has been banned for life from the sport, intends to appeal against the decision, but may have to bribe the appeal panel to find a result in his favour. Koellerer was given the life ban for match-fi...
Read full storyLionel Messi Sues EA Sports for His FIFA '11 Character's Suckiness: "I'm not that small and easy to dispossess!"
FC Barcelona forward Lionel Messi is as mad as an elf on the day after Christmas, after playing as himself on EA Sports' FIFA '11 game for Playstation 3, and realizing that the character sucks: And he plans to sue over it! "F--k Ronaldo, f--k, Kak...
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