It's official - the BNP cannot organise a piss up in brewery

The BNP have suffered yet another humiliation today as it emerged that they literally could not organise a piss up in a brewery. The piss up planned to give a chance for members to drown their sorrows about their dismal performances was meant to...

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Barack Obama has 'sworn off' salads until the 'scare' is over. Michelle can't give her's up

Funny story: Barack Obama has 'sworn off' salads until the 'scare' is over. Michelle can't give her's up

President Barack Obama has given up salads until the e coli scare is over. In fact, he says he doesn't trust ANY vegetables these days. His wife, Michelle, says she is hanging on to her cucumbers and believes that the way she uses them has not ye...

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Hasselhoff bags world record

America's David Hasselhoff has reportedly won a world record for the person to say the most American phrases in a TV series. The world record came as a shock for Hasselhoff when he found the world record people looking for him straight after Saturday...

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Come Dine With Me - The Cannibal Edition

Funny story: Come Dine With Me - The Cannibal Edition

Channel 4 favourite Come Dine With Me has become staple viewing for foodies across the country. The programme, where 5 strangers meet over the course of a week, are treated to home cooking by each contestant in turn, and then vote on the results with...

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Cameron 'darkie' gaffe

Funny story: Cameron 'darkie' gaffe

David Cameron has landed himself in fresh controversy after being overheard talking about 'darkies' in the Brixton branch of vision express. Simultaneously, his wife Samantha fanned the flames by walking into Mothercare and asking for a 'Coon'. Ho...

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Isle of Wight News - residents exporting cucumbers etc. are making a fortune

Funny story: Isle of Wight News - residents exporting cucumbers etc. are making a fortune

Residents of the Isle of Wight are 'raking it in' exporting cucumbers, tomatoes and lettuce to all parts of the world. This small island, ignored by many, is now on the lips of millions of people worldwide as they begin to eat salad items again wi...

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Move Over Pippa Middleton - Blake Lively And Bar Rafaeli Named World's Most Fascinating Women

Funny story: Move Over Pippa Middleton - Blake Lively And Bar Rafaeli Named World's Most Fascinating Women

Pippa Middleton may well have wowed the Royal Wedding TV audience with her delectable rumpage, but it seems that she's slowly fading out of the limelight, being slowly but surely outplayed in the fascination stakes by Blake Lively and Bar Rafaeli.

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Queen Elizabeth cancelled all Buckingham Palace Garden Parties fearing tainted cucumbers

Funny story: Queen Elizabeth cancelled all Buckingham Palace Garden Parties fearing tainted cucumbers

Queen Elizabeth found herself in a bit of a pickle when she heard about the tainted cucumbers. Everyone, who is everyone, knows that the Garden Parties held at the Palace have tiny triangular cucumber sandwiches, crusts removed, as the 'hub' of...

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Harry Redknapp In £12 Million Bid For BGT's Ronan Parke

Funny story: Harry Redknapp In £12 Million Bid For BGT's Ronan Parke

In the latest White Hart Lane sensation, Spurs boss Harry Redknapp has revealed that he is all set to lodge a £12 million shock bid for Britain's Got Talent Runner-Up, Ronan Parke. Insiders say that Tottenham scouts were keeping a close eye on the...

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Harry Redknapp To Lure Carlos Tevez From Manchester City

Funny story: Harry Redknapp To Lure Carlos Tevez From Manchester City

Spurs boss Harry Redknapp is reported to be working on his most audacious transfer coup yet, by luring unsettled Argentinian striker, Carlos Tevez away from Manchester City. Tevez revealed in an Argentinian TV interview that he isn't happy with hi...

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Harry Redknapp Moves In On Wesley Sneijder, Fabregas, Messi, Everybody!

Funny story: Harry Redknapp Moves In On Wesley Sneijder, Fabregas, Messi, Everybody!

Sensational news just in from the Lane - Spurs are currently involved in transfer bids for just about everybody who might possibly be available in the summer transfer window. A spokesman for the club this morning confirmed that offers have been ma...

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Harry Redknapp Closely Watching Samir Nasri Arsenal Situation

Funny story: Harry Redknapp Closely Watching Samir Nasri Arsenal Situation

Spurs boss, Harry Redknapp, having almost secured the signing of Joe Cole from Liverpool, hasn't ruled out the possibility of making a move on North London rivals Arsenal, for Samir Nasri. Harry was quick to shrug off rumours connecting Nasri with...

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Overindulged Girl Gets Mauled By Panda In Bathroom

Funny story: Overindulged Girl Gets Mauled By Panda In Bathroom

Los Angeles, CA - 13-year-old Annalise Van Buren, resident of Beverly Hills, was mauled to death Saturday afternoon by a giant panda living in her bathroom. Parents, Stewart and Charlotte Van Buren, purchased the giant panda for their daughter's...

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Blake Lively, Taylor Momsen, And Lindsay Lohan Approached To Star In Girls Behaving Badly Movie

Funny story: Blake Lively, Taylor Momsen, And Lindsay Lohan Approached To Star In Girls Behaving Badly Movie

Hollywood hotshots Blake Lively, Taylor Momsen and Lindsay Lohan are in talks with Hollywood production company Rehab Pictures International about multi-million dollar leading roles in upcoming movie Girls Behaving Badly. The trio would be the Hol...

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Jordan to launch own sex-toy brand

Funny story: Jordan to launch own sex-toy brand

Jordan, aka Katie Price, has already marketed her own clothing brand but the 'Sex-Goddess' (her own assessment) is to go one further by launching Jordan Sex Toys. She told this reporter, "Well, since everyone's already seen me in action on most go...

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Pope 'gobsmacked' as armchair astronomers discover 'Devil's Armchair' on Mars

Funny story: Pope 'gobsmacked' as armchair astronomers discover 'Devil's Armchair' on Mars

London - The atmosphere in Rome is said to be 'psychotic' as the discovery of a demonic throne on Mars this week has sent shockwaves through the Vatican. Experts say the Martian carving appears to be a much bigger copy of the Fauteuil du Diable -...

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BGT Judges Accused Of Being Narrow Minded

The latest series of BGT may have ended but not everyone is happy with the result.Sidney Bottomley of Scarborough, North Yorkshire claims he would have won if he had entered but was prevented from doing so by the judges' narrow mindedness. "I went...

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World's tallest man sought by Porn companies

Funny story: World's tallest man sought by Porn companies

This week the world's tallest man, at 2.36m (7ft 8.95in) has saved two dolphins by using his long arms to reach into their stomachs and pull out dangerous plastic shards. Mongolian herdsman Bao Xishun was called in after the dolphins swallowed pla...

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Rooney's hair transplant saves his career!

Funny story: Rooney's hair transplant saves his career!

Wayne Rooney has officially admitted having a hair transplant to stop him going even balder. The recommendation for the transplant came from his main sponsors, N+k+, because they believe at 25 he's too ugly to follow in the footsteps of an ageing Bec...

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England prove to the world what the world knows already, they're crap!

Funny story: England prove to the world what the world knows already, they're crap!

After another dismal performance and the usual bullshitting excuses from their pathetic trainer, Capello, (burn out my butt) England continue to prove to the world that they are second-class citizens and just utter crap. The Premier League maybe o...

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CBeebies for Edward

Britain's Got Talent's Edward Reid got picked up by Cbeebies last night as he lost to rival Steven Hall earlier in the week. A Cbeebies spokesperson reportedly said "This is our dream come true.Edward can sing nursery rhymes with style and young k...

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Britain's Got Talent Winner Provokes Adverse Reaction

Funny story: Britain's Got Talent Winner Provokes Adverse Reaction

Ayrshire's Jai McDowall, surprise winner of 2011's Britain's Got Talent, has been at the wrong end of a strong reaction from Scottish viewers. Thousands of furious Scots last night jammed the switchboards and social media websites, all protesting...

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Wayne Rooney Has Brain Transplant

Funny story: Wayne Rooney Has Brain Transplant

Wayne Rooney has confirmed that he is recovering from having had a brain transplant. The Man Utd and England striker announced through his agent that he had had a 3 day operation in an exclusive Harley Street clinic after being given an ultimatum...

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Capello Blames Premiership For Hart's Blunders

Funny story: Capello Blames Premiership For Hart's Blunders

England manager Fabio Capello has laid the blame for Joe Hart's 2 monumental Wembley blunders firmly at the feet of the English Premier League. The 24 year old Manchester City man, who is regarded by many as the best keeper the national side has h...

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Highly Intelligent Apes Discovered

Funny story: Highly Intelligent Apes Discovered

London, England. In breaking news scientists have discovered a colony of apes in a remote region of Zimbabwe, not previously sighted by human life. The apes were decidedly cleverer than any other ape species and proved to be very adaptive to thei...

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"Why we must learn to love humans" speech nabbed at Bilderberger convention

Funny story: "Why we must learn to love humans" speech nabbed at Bilderberger convention

Bilderbergerville, Switzerland - A maid at the convention here has purloined a copy of one of the addresses at the convention. According to our source, the maid, she made her own copy of this and is willing to risk publication. The text follows: June is the thick of the wedding season. Maybe also the time that we feel a sneaking admiration for, say, the evicted, and their tenacious powers o...

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Sheila Granger wants to marry a black man

Funny story: Sheila Granger wants to marry a black man

Sheila Granger, a southern Indiana woman, will spend 60 years behind bars for degrading herself with two white males. She will be released from prison at the age of 95-years-old. Granger was in a Clark County courtroom when she learned that she wi...

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