FC Barcelona forward Lionel Messi is as mad as an elf on the day after Christmas, after playing as himself on EA Sports' FIFA '11 game for Playstation 3, and realizing that the character sucks: And he plans to sue over it!
"F--k Ronaldo, f--k, Kaka; I am the greatest soccer player in the World," said Messi. "My character in this video game is nothing like me."
"We studied Messi's plays very thoroughly, and came up with very specific stats, which we used to program his character's play in FIFA '11," said E.A. McGremmer, CEO of his namesake EA Games, Inc. "It's fairly accurate."
"My character is freakishly small," reads Messi's suit. "While fast, I am incredibly easy to dispossess of the ball."
"My character constantly looks for team mates like Iniesta, Villa, Xavi, and Dani Alves to create distractions, so that I can break away," continued Messi. "And, if anyone from another team gets within 10 feet of my character, he is the first to cry about it, making opponents less likely to aggressively defend him."
"Yup, like I said, 'fairly accurate'." concluded McGremmer.