Nonce had photos of female tennis players in his shed

Funny story written by Rebel Not Taken

Wednesday, 1 June 2011

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female tennis players

Retired Maths teacher Eric Nonce faces further questioning by Dorking Vice Squad.

The member of the public has already been named as the one who used crossword expertise to 'out' Celebrity Imogen Thomas as' A Smooth Minge' during a local Surrey Quiz Night.

A whole list of Anagrams were discovered in Mr Nonce's shed and the police are busy putting them together.

Now the crossword buff faces further charges after his shed was turned upside down by the local constabulary.

An assortment of photographs of female tennis players was found in a haversack.

The tennis players involved are believed to be Venus and Serena Williams.

Detective Inspector A Mason told reporters: "The shed was untidy. We had to get the dogs in to sniff out the photos".

The pensioner claims he was merely working on a photograph crossword idea which had come to him in a dream:

"I cut the photographs up and swop the body parts. The best one I ever did was Gabriella Sabatini's top half and Anna Kournikova's bottom half".

Eric Nonce is reputed be a member of the local tennis club and once won a Mixed Double's plate with Doris Trellis, 69.

Next door neighbour, Edna Welthorpe has already written to the local paper complaining that Eric Nonce spends a lot of time cutting up The Daily Telegraph and 'strange magazines':

"I have seen him in the garden with his tortoise, sitting in a deckchair and pretending he is making up crossword clues".

Inspector A Mason has assured the public:

"We have been keeping tabs on Nonce and his' like minded chums' for some time. Once we have assembled the evidence it will be Game Set and Match".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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