Written by Morse

Wednesday, 1 June 2011

Hey!

The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Weiner dazed & confused on how "Cucumber Got Papped in My Shorts!"
Some Say Weiner Just Stuck a Sock innit!

'Weinergate' continues to escalate with Staunch Democratic Congress Member Anthony Weiner now waffling over his Penis Pix saying "I can't say with Certitude that it's not mine, it may be a cucumber that inadvertently slipped into my shorts while I was making a Chef's Salad with Martha Stewart!"

Weiner says he has hired a private security firm to investigate whether any of the out takes from " Late Night Cooking in the Kitchen with Martha" were accidentally posted on line to promote her show.

"There were a lot of late night rehearsals with Martha in order to get it just right," said the Whinny Weiner after repeated questions from aroused Media reporters, "it's possible during the salad session a cucumber slipped down into my jockeys in an attempt to relieve the tension in the kitchen.. Martha can be quite up tight sometimes, and usually an off colour cucumber joke will bring her around, she got a penchant for the really big ones after being in jail all that time without a chef salad, if you get my drift!"

Stewart, reached in her kitchen where she was preparing 'Spotted Dick' for her upcoming Segment "So You Think You Can Cook British," denied ever seeing either Weiner's wiener, much less a rampant cucumber in his shorts.

"My staff did interview him and give him a screen test to see if we could work him into a segment for the show on Jewish Cooking, but all he wanted to do was talk about himself and tell jokes about one eared elephants. I think he has "small dick' syndrome...the guy is definitely a PUTZ with a problem."

Meanwhile back in New York where Weiner is a perennial candidate for Mayor, gleeful republicans are preparing a new add campaign featuring the now infamous engorged shorts for a Time Square billboard campaign with the slogan:

"ANTHONY WEINER WANTS TO BE MAYOR, BUT MAKES BIG PROMISES HE CAN'T DELIVER!"

Bill Clinton, Eric Massa, Arnold Schwarzenneger and Johnny 'Wad" Holmes (RIP) were unavailable to comment on this latest news before press time.

More as Weiner's "Package" Unravels.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!





Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
61 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more