Shylock Humes And The Case Of The Narwhal's Tusk Scrimshaw, Part Three

Funny story: Shylock Humes And The Case Of The Narwhal's Tusk Scrimshaw, Part Three

My friend Shylock Humes sat by the fireside in his favourite armchair, with his legs pulled up and his arms wrapped about his knees. He was coiled and taut, his head sunken into his gaunt shoulders. That recent training with contortionist Roberto the Rubberman of Bounder Brothers Circus was already paying off. Humes was staring at our extraordinary visitor, Captain, or Professor, Goosefoundling...

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Taylor Swift Writes A Song That Amazingly Is Not About A Boyfriend That She Has Broken Up With

Funny story: Taylor Swift Writes A Song That Amazingly Is Not About A Boyfriend That She Has Broken Up With

NASHVILLE - Taylor Swift recently sat down at a Pizza Gal Restaurant in Nashville and spoke with Grilletta Brewburger of Yippee-Ki-Yay Magazine. Miss Brewburger asked Taylor how her recent concert at The Running of The Bulls Convention Center in B...

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Arise Sir Bruce

Funny story: Arise Sir Bruce

Arise Sir Bruce Of wig abuse And jokes so old They've all been told A thousand times By men of wit Though mostly shit Good game, good game Not really. But he can dance And he'll romance Ex beauty queens And if he means To cause offence He'll blame his age His life's a stage Higher, lower Joker The cards he's played The friends he's made For generations On TV stations He's...

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Research supports Spoof Writer's claim that she writes better on a 'full bladder'

Funny story: Research supports Spoof Writer's claim that she writes better on a 'full bladder'

New research shows that having a full bladder can be an advantage in helping you concentrate during certain activities, such as making speeches, - as was Enoch Powell's claim many years ago. This claim was made recently by a Spoof Writer who, at t...

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Demi Lovato Reveals The Six Reasons Why She Broke Up With Wilmer Valderrama

Funny story: Demi Lovato Reveals The Six Reasons Why She Broke Up With Wilmer Valderrama

LA BREA - Demi Lovato had gone to have dinner at one of her favorite restaurants in Los Angeles, The La Brea Tar Pits Diner. As she sat alone at a table eating an order of Chicken Fried Salmon Fins she noticed a reporter for Tittle Tattle Tonight,...

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Palin Crowns Herself President For Life

Funny story: Palin Crowns Herself President For Life

Sarah Palin has crowned herself President for life outside the White House. She held a mock coronation in which she dressed up as Napoleon and sat on a fake golden throne wearing a cheopo crown bought from a Lidls supermarket. The people who wi...

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Penis Envy: President Obama Won't Touch Weiner With 10 Foot Pole

Funny story: Penis Envy: President Obama Won't Touch Weiner With 10 Foot Pole

When asked if President Obama is calling for Rep. Weiner to resign, White House Press Secretary Jay Carney said today that the President is focused on his job, not on Weiner. With Minority Whip Nancy Pelosi now calling for the disgraced Weiner t...

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The Dallas Mavericks Defeat The Miami Heat 105-95 To Become The World Champions - LeBron James Sure Talked The Talk, But Couldn't Walk The Walk

Funny story: The Dallas Mavericks Defeat The Miami Heat 105-95 To Become The World Champions - LeBron James Sure Talked The Talk, But Couldn't Walk The Walk

MIAMI - The loud thunderous sound that was heard after the Dirk Nowitzki-led Dallas Mavericks defeated the Miami Heat 105-95 to win the NBA World Championship did not come from Miami or even from Dallas...that loud boom came from the town that sits o...

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Hunky Actor Reveals Alien Abduction

Funny story: Hunky Actor Reveals Alien Abduction

Hunky Canadian actor Sean Van Der Spak, 23, has revealed in a lengthy TV interview that he was the victim of an alien abduction in 2009. "It was terrifying," claimed the young movie star, still shaken by the ordeal. "I was on my way home from 7-1...

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What's Thong With That?

Funny story: What's Thong With That?

Flamboyant makeup and fashion stylist to the stars Jean-Pierre D'Alpuget, 45, was caught on closed circuit television last Wednesday trying on frilly laced underwear at a swanky department store in Vancouver, Canada. When stopped by store securi...

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Harry Redknapp In The Hunt For Scott Parker And Jack Rodwell

Funny story: Harry Redknapp In The Hunt For Scott Parker And Jack Rodwell

It seems that Scott Parker - West Ham's player of the season - is determined to hold out for a move to join Harry Redknapp's free spending moneybags, Tottenham Hotspur. Redknapp is also in the hunt for Everton's Jack Rodwell, although he faces tou...

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Councils of Europe to be renamed

Funny story: Councils of Europe to be renamed

Not many people know the difference between the European Council, the Council of Europe and the Council of the European Union, let alone care. These unelected organisations wield a large amount of power throughout the EU and often conduct surveys abo...

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LeAnn Rimes Wants Everyone To Know That Just Because She Is Down To 63 Pounds Does Not Mean She Is Anorexic

Funny story: LeAnn Rimes Wants Everyone To Know That Just Because She Is Down To 63 Pounds Does Not Mean She Is Anorexic

NASHVILLE - Two weeks ago LeAnn Rimes was weighing 78 pounds and she looked anorexic then. Today she is down to 63 pounds and she looks even more anorexic now. But the 28-year-old country singer who has just about managed to shed her reputation fo...

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Missing Sussex Man Found Mutated

Funny story: Missing Sussex Man Found Mutated

A man missing from Sussex for over 6 months has finally been found, exactly where he went missing. The 20 year old, who has changed his name by deed poll to Giggs Rooney since disappearing, has been found alive and well at home in Chichester after...

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Unidentified submersible object patrolling The Narrows amid eclipse tsunami warnings

Funny story: Unidentified submersible object patrolling The Narrows amid eclipse tsunami warnings

New York - A mystery underwater craft has been spotted close to the Verrazano-Narrows Bridge by New York Harbor ahead of Wednesday's lunar eclipse. Observers say it may have been surveying the site of a shelved 1990s project to build a massive $40...

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SlutSkirt launched in UK

Funny story: SlutSkirt launched in UK

Following demonstrations in hundreds of towns and cities this weekend, the Committee for Underwear of feminist movement SlutWalks has launched a new line of skirts designed to turn men into savage wolves. The SlutSkirt measures just 12 inches and...

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German comedians named least funny in poll of 15 countries

Funny story: German comedians named least funny in poll of 15 countries

A poll by social network site Badoo concluded that German comedians were the least amusing because they could not laugh at themselves. Their humour was often lost in translation. But German stand-up Henning Wehn said people did not understand his...

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Madonna Says That Jennifer Aniston's Baby Making Hopes Have Left The Building

Funny story: Madonna Says That Jennifer Aniston's Baby Making Hopes Have Left The Building

BROOKLYN - It is pretty much generally believed that once a woman hits 40, her chances of having a baby become somewhat astronomical. And that is precisely what caused the recent catfight between Madonna and Jennifer Aniston at Brooklyn's Johnny A...

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Nazi camp guard living in Hampshire

Funny story: Nazi camp guard living in Hampshire

Alexander Huryn, 90, has kept his past hidden for decades but the man who settled in Britain over 60 years ago has been exposed as a former guard at a Nazi concentration camp. Although researchers discovered his secret in Soviet-era archives it...

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Cheryl Cole Makes It Abundantly Clear That The Girls Aloud Reunion Tour Will Have To Go On Without Her

Funny story: Cheryl Cole Makes It Abundantly Clear That The Girls Aloud Reunion Tour Will Have To Go On Without Her

LONDON - Still reeling from being fired by America's version of X-Factor and being dumped by boyfriend Derek Hough, Cheryl Cole has returned to England. She spoke with Loretta Piffinshaw of Ta Ta For Now News and told her that the past year has be...

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Superman's Pants Come Off!

Funny story: Superman's Pants Come Off!

For years the Man of Steel has saved the world while wearing red trollies over a pair of blue tights. But from September, Superman will be seen in a more manly pair of turned-up jeans and rugged boots - though the cape and "S" shirt will remain.

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Post Office To Deliver Roman Letters Home - 2,000 Years Late.

Funny story: Post Office To Deliver Roman Letters Home - 2,000 Years Late.

A stash of letters found at Hadrian's Wall is to be delivered - almost 2,000 years late! Historians found the letters buried under a fortified section of the wall in Northumberland. "The legionnaires' chief concerns seem to have been the cold a...

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Deadly, hungry sharks spotted off of UK coast!

Funny story: Deadly, hungry sharks spotted off of UK coast!

One of the most deadliest, vicious, wicked, evil sharks on the planet has decided to give the UK a visit. The shark called the Oceanic White Tip Shark, was spotted by drunken fishermen having a good old piss-up during a fishing cruise a mile off of...

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The Truth About Blair And Wor Jackie

Tony Blair has been accused of being a liar so many times that it does not bother him any more. There are however doubts about one particular story which have irked the former PM for years. So much so, that phoney Tony was this week forced to issue t...

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Rooney retires from soccer, he's a pop-star now!

Funny story: Rooney retires from soccer, he's a pop-star now!

In a shock development Wayne Rooney, England & Man Utd star has E Mailed Sir Alex Ferguson and Capello that he is retiring from soccer? He has hung up his boots and the only thing that he wants to become is a pop-singer. After his recent hair...

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Insanesburys asked to snoop for Government

Funny story: Insanesburys asked to snoop for Government

London - A major UK supermarket chain is to spy on carers 'that the government may not know about' a red top report says today. Leading supermarket chain Insanesburys' staff will root out these off-the-radar individuals who have evaded Big Brothe...

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Saudi Arabian "slut walk" cancelled

Funny story: Saudi Arabian "slut walk" cancelled

"Slut walks" are a feminist phenomenon which have been hugely popular throughout the West. On a walk, scantily-clad women protest their right to wear whatever they want without being sexually assaulted - but it has proven to be too controversial for...

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Legal hypocrisy in America

Funny story: Legal hypocrisy in America

Government stupidity is high in America and even when the truth is demonstrated to the American government it refuses to listen to the American people. The legal hypocrisy is in reference to a 16-year-old boy from Florida who will be tried as an...

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Manic Laughter heard and Recorded in Outer Space

Funny story: Manic Laughter heard and Recorded in Outer Space

Artificial Satellites and Space Debris: Current Orbital Distribution and Monitoring Activities Division of the Upper Denture Satellite and Listening Unit Institute have this morning recorded what can only be termed as 'Manic Laughter' in Outer Space.

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10 Ways To Beat The Boarding School Blues

Funny story: 10 Ways To Beat The Boarding School Blues

For some children, boarding school is a wonderful, exciting, character-building adventure. For others, it can be a living hell, punctuated with homesickness, bullying, bedwetting and the odd randy junior house master. For those who struggle with the separation from mummy and daddy, and the arrival at a cold, dark and forboding boarding school, the following is intended as a guide to beating the...

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UK Summer cancelled

Funny story: UK Summer cancelled

The Met Office officially cancelled summer 2011 this morning. Met Office stalwart Rory Pisser said, "Yes, we know that we were extolling a Barbecue Summer only yesterday morning, but a lot can change in 24 hours, and change it has. Our updated for...

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Jenson Button Says Lewis Hamilton Is A Spawny Git

Funny story: Jenson Button Says Lewis Hamilton Is A Spawny Git

Canadian Grand Prix winner Jenson Button, relaxing after his dramatic last lap surge to victory, apologised to McLaren Mercedes team mate Lewis Hamilton for knocking him out of the race, claiming that he didn't see Hamilton in his rear view mirror, a...

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Dad's Army Shed Shrine Favourite To Win 'Shed Of The Year' Title

Funny story: Dad's Army Shed Shrine Favourite To Win 'Shed Of The Year' Title

19 year old Jack Jones, of Gorleston near Great Yarmouth is the talk of the town today, after having his garden shed nominated for the 'Shed Of The Year' title, sponsored by Just Champion Sheds Ltd of Jarrow. Jack's shed is no ordinary shed, fille...

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It's Man United v Chelsea In Luka Modric Bidding War - Harry Redknapp Happy

Funny story: It's Man United v Chelsea In Luka Modric Bidding War - Harry Redknapp Happy

Harry Redknapp is quite happy for Manchester United and Chelsea to enter a bidding war to secure the services of Spurs super Croatian midfield star, Luka Modric. With all the money Spurs have been splashing out on new signings, such as Iniesta, Me...

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