Future News: McDonald's Buys FDA

Funny story written by Inhopeless

Sunday, 2 January 2011

image for Future News: McDonald's Buys FDA
The Capitol Building of the Nation

(Published 2027) - WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a landmark takeover, fast food/media giant McDonald's-Disney bought out the Food and Drugs Administration.

"It makes me feel very sad," said Republican, Ted Electronic Arts Gareth. "In a Starbucks kinda Starbucks way." He paused. "I get paid by Starbucks every time I mention Starbucks. Starbucks pays me good for saying Starbucks."

President-elect John Taco Bell Best Buy Lexus Toshiba the Second did not veto the takeover, stating: 'RICH! I'm fucking rich!" At this time today, his poll ratings are higher than previous president, Fred Sony Microsoft News Corp. Greggs.

Instead many people are blaming previous president of '08-'12 Obama for this crisis.

What will this mean?

"Well," said a McDonald-Disney-BBC (they just took over the BBC right now) spokesman, "we can now advertise fucking anytime, anywhere. We're going to uhh... update the food pyramid. And with the BBC arm of McDisneyBBC we can subtly influence people to buy McDonald's in Britain."

Already this has paved the way for private takeovers of government institutions.

Ford has taken over many of the state-owned public highways, freeways, interstates, and even city-level avenues and roads, and imposing 200 Credi-Dollars toll costs unless you buy a Ford.

Plus, the Educational Authority has been bought by Wal-Mart, meaning the entire education of children will be mostly about how low, low, low prices are.

How have average people reacted?

"Well," said Sam Prius Smith, a Newandimproved York resident, "talking that way makes you sound faggy. Honestly man. You couldn't sound any more faggoty... unless you read books!"

What could be next for the United Verizon-CBS-Starbucks-Apple-GM-Kraft States of America?

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The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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