Guide to Traffic Wardens

Funny story written by Inchcock

Sunday, 2 January 2011

image for Guide to Traffic Wardens
Please treat the poor mites with compassion.

Parking controls were introduced to London in 1958. The first parking meters were installed outside the American Embassy.

Two years later traffic wardens made their first appearance on the streets of London. They have been hated by motorists ever since.

By June 2009 71 police forces issued body armour to traffic wardens after a spate of attacks from angry drivers.

How to have Fun with Traffic Wardens

Do NOT remove the Pay and Display tickets from your windscreen. Instead have a little collection of them of about 7 or 8. This means a passing traffic warden will have to look at several of them before finding the new one. If EVERYONE did this it would triple the time it took for traffic wardens to check cars and greatly slow down their ticket giving ability.

2) Follow them - Don't talk to them, but make it obvious that you are following them.

3) Take their pictures as they are giving someone a ticket. No need to have film in the camera.

4) Keep about a street ahead of them and add some extra money to peoples' meters if they are almost out.

5) Talk to them about religion - Try to convert them. This is especially effective if you are trying to convert them to a faith that is obviously not yours. A religious Jew could try to convert them to being "Born Again". A Muslim could preach Judaism etc.

6) Back your car over their feet. (This is a JOKE. WE DO NOT DO ADVISE THIS! Not even if they have just given you a ticket.)

7) Have little business cards printed with this web site name on and give a card to every traffic warden you see. They'll get the message if they get about 100 a day.

8) Run up to them and tell them about this REALLY attractive target, say a pink Rolls-Royce on a double yellow line around the corner. Of course it will have "moved" by the time they get there.

9) Find out where THEY are parked and let their tyres down. Then tell them to give themselves a ticket.

10) Put a note on your windscreen, "There is an electrical fault with my wipers. Please don't touch them".

We repeat: this is a humour site. It is intended to allow the harassed motorist to imagine having some fun. All suggestions above are NOT meant to be taken seriously.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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