Fishy odor traced to Salmonella G
The Kabul College of Medicine has just released an incredibly important discovery that may change the way that people view sex all over the world. Dr. Hakeem Keesterami authored the paper that exposes female personal hygiene habits as being the ma...
Read full storyGore Declares "We are running out of wind"
Commenting on a recently released report by his research company, ex-Vice President and authority on Global Warming, Al Gore announced at a press conference in Chicago, "This won't be the 'Windy City' very long. We are using wind at an alarming rate,...
Read full storyLindsay Lohan Wants To Open Her Own (Beep) Rehab Chain!
Lindsay Lohan is doing a lot better in rehab and wants to open her own according to her mother, Dina Lohan. "She's like a different girl..woman", stated Dina. "No she wants to open rehabs for other coke (beep)...I mean..others who have had problem...
Read full storyX-Factor - Skoob Entertainment News Issues Public Apology
Staff at Skoob Entertainment News have been forced to issue a public apology after nearly but not quite getting the result of this week's 'X-Factor The Result' show quite spot on. Editor in Chief of SEN, Skoob1999 blamed SEN supremo Buffty Ginslin...
Read full storySarah Palin To Run For President Stark Naked!
Sarah Palin has finally stated, "Let's cut to the chase! You want the same old crapper in the White House or you want a naked one?" According to The Uncommon Sense conservative magazine, Palin stated that people, especially young people, are just...
Read full storyX-factor blames Michael Jackson Vote for Destroying Aiden Grimshaw
Top insiders from the X-factor are tonight blaming Michael Jackson fans for the demise of Aiden Grimshaw. They are rumoured to be contemplating having an inquiry to see if an angry message received from Michael Jackson last week could have launched...
Read full storyBritain Accidentally Under Control of Ten-Year Old
LONDON - A young boy who had escaped from a tour group of the Houses of Parliament had taken control of the British Government, for a range of 20 minutes. Jack Johnson, 10, was lost from his tour group at 3.40pm, and entered the Commons, where he...
Read full storySuBo fanatics open old folk's home!
Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatical loonies have today opened their first old folk's home. The Red Scarf Home for the Terminally Deluded opened its doors for the first fee-paying fanatics wanting round-the-clock delusion. "Well, we were basica...
Read full storyFeckless torturer Blair's pantyliner fails at Cenotaph parade
London - (Tenner Lady/Ass Mess): Assembled dignitaries held their noses as the wind suddenly changed direction, a gag-inducing waft of nausea oozing from the ex-Prime Monster. First to turn a queasy shade of green was the Chief of Defence Staff, h...
Read full storyChelsea - Walking In A Winter Blunderland
Chelsea made an early foray into demonstrating the Club's Christmas spirit by walking in a winter blunderland at Stamford Bridge as they cruised to a resounding 3-0 defeat to unfancied Sunderland. The Mackems could hardly believe their luck from t...
Read full storyArmistice day 'Poppy-cocks' were heroin addicts
Reports today suggest that the Muslims Against Crusades (MAC) group that burnt poppies during a two minute silence to mark the anniversary of Armistice Day, were in fact heroin addicts who hoodwinked themselves into purchasing the poppies in the beli...
Read full storySpoofer's Freedom of Speech Attacked as Modem is Turned Off
BIRMINGHAM - Reknowned spoofer Inhopeless has had his Freedom of Speech attacked by his oppressors, after they turned off the modem connecting his desktop computer to the internet and ergo, his means of communicating with the world through http://www...
Read full storyNew Study Find 10% of Crimes in US Caused by 'Grand Theft Auto' Video Games
A new study on crime in major American urban areas, found that nearly 10% of all crimes commited are homages to the violent video game series Grand Theft Auto. What other video games are causing humans to act wierdly? - PacMan Unnecessary eating of marshmallows and cherries. - Burnout: Paradise Pulling up at traffic signals and racing against bemused drivers, in a Ford Focus - SingStar At...
Read full storyMajor London Airport to be renamed
The Government Transport liaison advisory committee (GTLAC) announced today that the UK's major Airports are to be renamed. A spokesman said: The tradition of naming Airports after Prime Ministers has lapsed in recent years and this will now be...
Read full storyCities West of San Andreas Faults Sink
LOST ANGELES, SUNK FRANSISCO, SAN DIEGONE, PASSEDADENA - An earthquake measuring 11.4 (not a typo) on the Richter Scale has officially sunk the cities of Los Angeles, San Fransisco, San Diego and various other settlements west of the notorious San An...
Read full storyI'm A Celeb - Linford Christie Won't Starve In The Jungle As He Has A Big Lunch Box
So we're back in the jungle again with a motley crew of celebs, who over the next month or so will put themselves through the entire spectrum of personal humiliation in order to collect a nice fat cheque at the end of it all. But some observers cl...
Read full storySarah Palin; Front Runner for Reality Show Emmy
As if Palin's time in the press was insufficient throughout the 2010 midterm elections considering she wasn't actually running for anything, she has now embarked on a full blown reality show featuring her average American family living in the wilds o...
Read full storySan Francisco Tofu Eaters Still Don't Understand the Concept of a Kid's Meal
Still arguing against the legality and morality of offering Happy Meals or Kid's Meals to children in fast food restaurants, San Francisco city leaders continue to push for a ban on the grounds that they alone, lead to childhood obesity. It is cle...
Read full storyIreland Considers Second Option to Solve Debt Crisis
While considering offers and suggestions from other members of the European Union, Ireland is considering another less conventional option to resolving its own growing debt problem. Prepare for the 180 day long, 2011 Irish Fest. Prime Minister Co...
Read full storyNew Reality Show: Rachel Uchitel Private Dick!
Claiming she really liked being under the covers, former Tiger Woods lover and Party Organizer Rachel Uchitel is now about to earn her Private Investigator license from where else: California! The 30 something femme fatale who reportedly scored $...
Read full storyKatie Price v Kerry Katona KO Fight
ROUND 1 Katona punches Price on the face, spitting blood out. 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8 and Price stands up. Price:''Kerry you b****!, Ill beat the s*** ouut of you!''- she said. Price delivers a punch below, she misses, Katona hits Price's fake tits with an uppercut, Price took a mandatory count of eight again. Price is wobbly, Katona goes below and punches her vagina. Again Price went do...
Read full storyWalk a Mile in Bernie Madoff's Shoes
And they're nice ones too, barely or never worn, averaging about $350 a pair each. Among the personal possessions being auctioned off from the Madoff estate are more than 200 pairs of his casual and dress shoes. Provided you're a size nine and a ha...
Read full storyHamid Karzai Checks into Call of Duty Rehab Program
While trying to act as internal peacekeeper and playing political chess with the United States on whether he wants to participate in ridding his country of known terrorists, Hamid Karzai has reportedly admitted to being addicted to the new computer g...
Read full storyDaniel Radcliffe Screen Tests for New Law and Order U.K. Series
Looking to quickly pull himself out of being type cast as any sort of wizard or fantasy character, Daniel Radcliffe has reportedly read for a new part as a tough police inspector in the London-based television series, Law and Order, U.K. "Not that...
Read full storyDutch Saint Nicholas admits he loves having kiddies sitting on his lap, so what!
In Holland (flat, small insignificant country squeezed somewhere between Germany and the North Sea) they celebrate the coming of Saint Nicholas with his "Zwarte Piets" (Black Peters, non-racist) on the 5th/6th of December. Now this years celebrati...
Read full storyFidel to judge on American Idol
I have just been handed a communique stating that former generalissimo of Cuba, Fidel Castro, has accepted an invitation to be a judge on American Idol, next summer. The former antagoniser of Western states including USA has been recovering from a...
Read full storyal Qaeda are winning WWIII say's UK armed forces boss!
Bin Laden and his merry men (a modern day Islamic version of Robin Hood and his merry men not in green tights) are winning WWIII and this has been confirmed by the boss of UK armed forces, Sir David Richards. Sir David has admitted al Qaeda cannot...
Read full storyPatients' Watchdog welcomes end to NHS monopoly
A Hospital Patients' watchdog has welcomed the extension of the Coalition Government's Big Society thinking to the NHS, following yesterday's announcement by Andrew Lansley, Secretary of State for Health. Lansley, in a speech to Community Groups...
Read full storyTory HQ is now rubble; is Bucky Palace next?
12 Months ago a TV reporter infiltrated the lowerarchy and secretly filmed the millitary wing of a student union in action. It was never shown due to the Director General saying it would send them underground. The footage showed UPIS aka (Unruly...
Read full storyLiverpool Lose Again - Roy Hodgson Not A Happy Chappie
Yesterday the footballing giants of the Potteries, Stoke City, brought mighty Liverpool's six match unbeaten run to an ignominious end. (Why write long words like ignominious? You're writing for Liverpool fans. - Ed) The mighty reds crashed to a 2...
Read full storyRebecca Ferguson - Simply The Best - But She Won't Win X-Factor
Desperate to get the real lowdown on the X-Factor, Skoob Entertainment News eventually managed to persuade eccentric English film director, Producer, and music critic Buffty Ginslinger to conduct an in-depth analysis of the remaining contestants and...
Read full storyCow's arse hit with banjo
A six year old Friesian cow was recovering today after its arse was repeatedly hit by a mysterious banjo wielding maniac. It had been grazing in a field when the attacker approached it from behind and started beating its backside with the spherica...
Read full storyHarrison 'sorry' for hitting Haye
Audley Harrison has sensationally apologised to David Haye for hitting him with the only blow he landed during their World heavy weight Championship bout, at the M.E.N Arena in Manchester. Harrison was contrite having thrown the straight left in h...
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