BIRMINGHAM - Reknowned spoofer Inhopeless has had his Freedom of Speech attacked by his oppressors, after they turned off the modem connecting his desktop computer to the internet and ergo, his means of communicating with the world through http://www.thespoof.com/.
"It's terrible," he said in an exclusive interview, mostly because other news outlets were not interested, except FOX, wierdly. "My rights as outlined in the UN Declaration of Human Rights means I have freedom of expressing myself, as long as I do not cause too much offence to anyone. And my paren-- I mean, opressors are not New Yokers, music producers, Americans, poppy-stealers, future people, Tories, Steve Jobs or whatever crap I post."
i then pointed out to him that it is a declaration.
"Oh yeah..." he said, sullen. "As an A* student in GCSE History, the Declaration of Human Rights are not even a non-binding resolution, let alone a law. That means that essentially, following it is not even encouraged, let alone compulsory."
However, a European Human Rights court lawyer spoke of this case.
"So some teenage kid is in his room attempting to connect to an internet that is banned due to excessive time on it," he paused. "It's that Inhopeless guy? The one who conducts reports with himself? Wierdo guy."
I then punched him in the face. He then punched me. I managed to escape by some way.
AInhopeless was negotiating with his oppressors, homework = internet. He was trying to get a 40:60 ratio.
His oppressors were willing to be interviewed.
"Why did we do it?" the Farthur said. "You know full well. Why the hell are you trying to be a journalist? Is this for that Spoof thingy? Yes, they are slightly amusing. But still... stop conducting interviews with yourself!"
The farthur had no idea what he was on about. Old age must have set in.
"Yeah," said Inhopeless. "I think the power of controlling my human rights has gone to his head."
"That's nice, dear," said the Murther. "Now go play on your gamethingy."
As of press time, Inhopeless was trying to trick the defence system known as Littel Bruthar into turning on the modem for Dairy Milk chocolates.