Hamid Karzai Checks into Call of Duty Rehab Program

Funny story written by P.M. Wortham

Sunday, 14 November 2010

image for Hamid Karzai Checks into Call of Duty Rehab Program
Fantasy Black Ops Scene: Desert Warfare (Karzai back left)

While trying to act as internal peacekeeper and playing political chess with the United States on whether he wants to participate in ridding his country of known terrorists, Hamid Karzai has reportedly admitted to being addicted to the new computer game, Call of Duty: Black Ops.

Checking himself into the only known rehabilitation program in the world, Karzai will be admitted into the Courtney Love Center for Addiction and Rehabilitation in New York to rid himself of the game that has had him fully engaged for 4 days. "He can't eat, he can't sleep, he is completely committed to the Black Ops mission, though he does tend to get his character killed quite often", says Karzai personal aide, Sowat Sittuya.

For the man who appears to his own people to be a peaceful bridge builder, the addiction to a game like Call of Duty seemed to be odd at first. Insiders to the Karzai regime were shocked to hear that he had gotten hooked on the "Pixel Dust" so soon and so quickly. Residents at the Courtney Love Center will tell a different story. "It's so lifelike, so real, the mission is so intense, you can't put the controller down", says a man who only identified himself as "Barack".

Karzai was admitted early this morning with classic signs of the CODBO addiction. His eyes were reportedly fixed forward, unable to blink and his hands were extended with fingers and thumbs twitching as if the controller were still in his hands. "We expect to have our leader back quickly", reports Sittuya. "It was a short exposure to the game, so he should be weaned off it without too much trouble. "Then he can go back to be one of the best known, wishy-washy world leaders." Sittuya admitted that he had heard the wishy-washy term from another patient in the Center and that it was supposed to mean "strong". It was Sittuya's first time out of his own country.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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