Jonathan Ross still presents a chat show shock
The man who said he was leaving the BBC to do something else is surprisingly still working for the BBC presenting his chat show on a Friday evening. Jonathan Ross or Paul Ross's brother as he is known to Paul Ross was seen interviewing the fat unf...
Read full storyMy musings on humor
I often think about comedy, and about the funniest people I've run across in my life. I guess they have inspired me to become involved in humor. There are a few and they are varied, but they had one thing in common: their humor was unique, and they m…
Read full storyBarry George Bush innocent of Cheryl Cole harassment
London - (Reuterus & Ass Mess): The man who didn't Jill Dando is also innocent of harassing national treasure Cheryl Cole. Geddit? That's the official verdict as the Smearer Group of newspapers, publishers of The Daily Smearer, The Sunday Sm...
Read full storyKristen Stewart Had Tourettes Until She Was, Sh*t! 13!
"I thought someone would dig it out sooner or later", stated Kristen Stewart Friday after her appearance on Oprah Thursday. "So I thought I'd go ahead and tell the story myself before some idiot got half of it right and screwed it all up." After...
Read full storyRussell Crowe, Robin Hood, The Irish Australian
Aussie Oscar winner Russell Crowe was reported to be "calming down" a little following a radio interview in which a DJ described his Robin Hood accent as sounding "Irish-Australian." Crowe stormed out of the interview - intended to publicise the n...
Read full storyOil Executive Tossed from One of Louisiana's Best Cajun Restaurants
New Orleans, LA - Oil executives returned back to their home-away-from-home in Louisiana after a grueling week in front of a Senate investigative panel to answer tough questions about the ongoing oil spill problem in the Gulf of Mexico. They decided...
Read full storyThe Dark Flowers Chronicles - Chapter Two
Closer to the Point The miner packed the golden lamp into his haversack, fed the mule, and left the mine. He was two tonnes short of his daily call for coal, but didn't care. He'd found a golden lamp, and even though it wasn't a magical, genie holding lamp that could grant his wishes, the missus might take a fancy to it, maybe even enough to get him a quick handjob. He entered his run down...
Read full storyThis Year Paris Runways All the 'Bomb'
Four of Paris's most renowned fashion houses are previewing designs reflecting the dangerous world that we live in today. Each couture house has added its own interpretations for their upcoming fall collections based on the bomb or blast suit look n...
Read full storySchwarzenegger sees double in hospital
Arnie went to visit his 'old' stunt double, Billy Lucas, in hospital recently. He got more than he bargained for. On entering the hospital he bumped into the Double Mint twins and the Olsen twins, who were visiting the Gosselin twins. After a...
Read full storyBangkok is in flames and Spoof Supremo, Monkey Woods, legs it!
Spoof Supremo, Monkey Woods, residing in Bangkok, has disappeared without trace and other Spoof writers are desperately waiting for a sign of life! Bangkok is in the middle of a political revolution and Monkey was caught up in the middle of it on...
Read full storyThings Set To Get Much Worse
A National Audit Commission report reveals that things have been steadily bad over the last few years, but have started to get worse since 2008. The report, commissioned by Harold Wilson's government during the troubles of 1974, is itself quite b...
Read full storyDavid Cameron leads by example, slashing his own salary by 5 %
David Cameron is leading the nation by example. He has cut his own pay by 5%. Well, that's TODAY. Next week he'll probably be giving himself a 10% raise. The 'real' workers across the country, are hoping he doesn't expect THEM to volunteer to t...
Read full storyArizona To Change It's Nickname From "The Grand Canyon State" To "Teabaggers 'R' Us"
PHOENIX - Governor Jan Brewer in a move to give her state some semblance of unity, civility, and fairness has decided to implement a governor's mandate and change Arizona's nickname from "The Grand Canyon State" to "Teabaggers 'R' Us." The governo...
Read full storySelena Gomez Says She Wants To Give Liam Hemsworth A Lap Dance
FLAGSTAFF, Arizona - Selena Gomez flew to Arizona to visit the Grand Canyon before President Obama totally shuts down the state with his upcoming mandated state-wide ban. Selena was asked what she thinks about Arizona's Immigration Bill. She rolle...
Read full storyLesbian Couple Accused Of Handling Holes In Church
A lesbian couple in England claim they were forced out of their church after they were spotted handling holes during a service. Leslie Pigden and Nora Battery said that other members of the congregation at St Nicholas Claus Anglican church in Cen...
Read full storyGuns Galore at 139th Annual NRA Meeting in Charlotte, NC
Charlotte, NC - It's all about guns. Guns, guns, guns. Guns and more guns. There are big guns, little guns, guns that kill just one person, and guns that are capable of killing more than one person at a time. Guns for show and guns for show-time. The...
Read full storyBotox Leads to Long Term Erections
CHICAGO, IL -- A Forest Lakes accountant, Mortimer Schwartz, is suing a plastic surgeon for medical malpractice claiming the doctor caused him a permanent condition of erectile maximus syndrome (PMS). After seeking medical assistance for his ere...
Read full storyCellphones Now Used More for Goofing Off Than for Calls
Liza Colburn uses her cellphone constantly. She taps out her grocery lists, records voice memos (e.g. walk Fido, break up with that loser Frank), listens to music at the gym, tracks her caloric intake and posts frequent updates to her Twitter and Fa...
Read full storyMost Of Britain Now Underwater
A shocking confidential report leaked from environment watchdog Envirowatch reveals that most of Britain is now underwater, and that climate change sceptics are keeping it secret from the public. Starting in 1975, the south west of the country sta...
Read full storySuBo fanatics launch own bank
In an attempt to replenish rapidly dwindling funds, Susan Boyle fanatics today launched their own bank. The Fanatical Bank of Susan (FBoS) will initially have branches in California, Chile, and England. First time depositors are being offered free gi...
Read full storyTerror Trial Slated for Governor's Island
NEW YORK, NY -- After marathon negotiations throughout the week with Mayor Bloomberg's office, the Port Authority and New Jersey's Governor Christie, Attorney General Erica Holder's office is expected to make a major announcement on Monday. Sources c...
Read full storyShocker: US to Fund Israeli Defence
Barack Obama is to ask the US Congress for an extra $200bn in military aid to help Israel get a short-range rocket defence system in place. The system is designed to shoot down mortars, rockets, rocks and paper airplanes from Gaza or Southern Leba...
Read full storyLesbians Having Sex In Church Affects Collection Takings
Two Lesbians have been forced out of an Anglican Church because their continued sexual activity was hitting the collection takings. St Muff's in Much Licking, Dorset, has banned the two Lesbians after a series of incidents. The pair were caught be...
Read full storyOlympic Budget Slashed By Coalition
After the smiles came the cuts. And none bigger than the cut to the Olympic budget. The new Coalition Government has wasted no time in making cuts to public expenditure. The Olympics were won at a considerable cost to the nation. Now George Osbour...
Read full storyBP Oil Leak Plugged by Rosie O'Donnell's Badonkadonk
The BP oil leak in the Gulf of Mexico was successfully plugged this morning, following a joint effort between the U.S. Navy, BP's Golf Ball and Rubber Tire Department, and Rosie O'Donnell. In an apparent effort to use a plan mentioned in the press...
Read full storyEast Africa seeks more Nile water from Egypt; Nile gods angered
Four East African states have signed an agreement to seek more water from the River Nile - a move strongly opposed by Egypt and her ancient gods, including the Nile itself, long regarded as a living divinity by many Egyptians. Under a 1929 B.C.E.
Read full storyUgly Betty Star, America Ferrera In Hot New Movie This Summer
It turns out that Ugly Betty wasn't so ugly after all, once all the make-up and disguises were lifted. In a new summer film, America Ferrera will wow most of the guys in the theater with her outfits, especially on the beach and in some intimate sc...
Read full storyNew Film About Marilyn Monroe Suspicious & Relationships To Kennedys Coming Out
The Production company Firm Engine has re-opened the case of Marilyn Monroe's death in a movie scheduled to star Naomi Watts according to our sources. Thus far, the movie will simply be titled "Marilyn" and could possibly feature the song "Candle In...
Read full storyNigeria ex-governor James Ibori 'freed on condition he will serve as Chancellor of the Exchequer'
Nigerian political powerbroker James Ibori has reportedly been freed on bail in Dubai, where he was arrested on corruption charges, pending his acceptance of a position in the new British coalition Cabinet: Chancellor of the Exchequer. The former...
Read full storyJustin Bieber Buys Hairspray and Toothpaste Companies
Now that the financially successful, 16 year old singing sensation is on the dating trail, it only made sense to surround himself with quality personal grooming products. Given the amount of hair on Bieber and the literal vastness of his smile, he r...
Read full storySarkozy Threatened To Pull Out Unless Woman Screamed Like A Whore
French President Nicolas Sarkozy is said to have repeatedly threatened to pull out unless a woman screamed like a whore. French civil servants have admitted that he also wanted her to dress like a Greek goddess and pretend to be sinking. Jean-Luc...
Read full storyFlatulence "Not A Disability", Tribunal Rules
The Peckham Employment Tribunal has unanimously ruled that chronic flatulence is not a disability under the Disability Discrimination Act 1995. The judgement was a disappointment for Ayama McTrumpitt (27), who claimed she had been unfairly treated...
Read full storyU.S. Marines Lampoon Truman's Integration Plans
West Germany, April 1, 1948 -- As rumors continue to swirl concerning President Truman's pursuit of full integration and equality of Negroes within the U.S. military, some units have taken to relieving their pent-up frustration through humorous 8mm s...
Read full storyRepublicans Choose Lap Dances over Mexican Heat
Tampa, FL - It's official. The Republican National Committee has chosen Tampa, Florida as the site of their 2012 Republican National Convention. Delegates from all over the United States will converge on Tampa, Florida, the official "Lap Dance Capita...
Read full storyThe Dark Flowers Chronicles -- Chapter One
Before the Beginning It was a dark and stormy mood the coal miner was enveloped in in his tiny little Welsh mind. His quota had not been reached and he knew that the Foreman would be ragging his ass, once again; that's all the Foreman was good for, ragging his ass. "I wish I had a magic lamp to rub and a genie to appear to grant me all the wishes I could think to wish," the miner told his l...
Read full storyWow! Brooklyn Decker Sure Has Got Herself Some Bigguns!
HAWAII - One of the sexiest women to ever dip her dainty little toes in the waters off of Hawaii is the stunningly sexy Ohio girl, Brooklyn Decker. The 23-year-old beauty graced this years cover of Sports Illustrated, along with the covers of othe...
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