Written by Bureau

Friday, 14 May 2010

image for Lesbian Couple Accused Of Handling Holes In Church

A lesbian couple in England claim they were forced out of their church after they were spotted handling holes during a service.

Leslie Pigden and Nora Battery said that other members of the congregation at St Nicholas Claus Anglican church in Centre Pole, Wiltshire thought their behaviour was 'overtly sexual'.

They said other couples within the congregation held hands and they felt it was their sexuality that had influenced the complaints.

Battery, who is in the process of being divorced, told the press: 'The vicar, who is a woman, wanted to know all the small details about my divorce, how long it was going to be, what was it like with a woman and why the divorce had dragged on so long.'

'And she said members of the congregation said that during hymns we were dishonoring their beliefs because they said we were singing the hymns to each other, she said, and that we were overtly sexual with each other...she said they said.'

The church says it accepts gay people as long as they are not practicing during services.

Wait a minute...did that say "holding hands?" I thought it said "handling.........

Never mind.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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