Chip On Shoulder Reminds Elderly, "Time For Sex"

Funny story written by Bureau

Thursday, 1 October 2009

Hey!

The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Chip On Shoulder Reminds Elderly, "Time For Sex"
"Greatest Invention since Swiss Army Knife"

A Swiss pharmaceutical group called Nervotis has developed an electronic pill and chip that it hopes will reduce the number of patients who have to be supervised taking their medicine.

Severine Baerrtschi, head of pharmaceuticals at Nevortis, said tests of the 'chip for the pill' to a shoulder receiver chip had been carried out on 200 patients.

"The biggest problem is with the older people not taking their blood pressure pill on time. They forget one day and they take one twice a day or more after forgetting if they have taken one or not. This makes their blood pressure erratic."

Thus far the tests have been very successful according to a reports, except in four cases where the wives had control of the chips.

"Four wives have misused the device into using it for their husbands to take Viagra and then, six hours later, tap into it again", stated Baertschi.

Two of those older people had to be hospitalized, apparently, as nurses aids had to practically carry them into the ER.

"I hurt every time I piss", stated one 76-year-old. "But I need to please Martha. It just seems like we stay in bed a lot. Why am I so weak, Doc? My legs are like rubber."

According to later findings after having the chips returned, the 76-year-old had taken over 100 penis-boosters in one month.

"If the granddaughter hadn't brought me to the ER", stated the old guy, "I would have definitely shot my wad!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more