The Hero of Northwest Flight 253 Jasper Schuringa Has Been Hired To Be The Pope's Head of Security
DETROIT - The Vatican's Papal Regulating Committee has just announced that they have hired Jasper Schuringa, the hero of Northwest Flight 253, to replace Bronzolo Farigliano as the Vatican's Head of Security. Farigliano was fired two hours after a...
Read full storyCheryl Cole Explains The Reasons For Her Nakedness and Nudity
LONDON - Cheryl Cole spent Christmas Day with her husband, lucky Ashley, reflecting on all that has happened to her so far this year. Cheryl remarked that she's the third luckiest woman in the entire world. She stated that the first is Heather Mil...
Read full storyQueen makes official complaint about Pope Benedict's publicity stunt upstaging her Xmas speech
Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth's Christmas speech was ruined by Pope Benedict this year, when the Pontiff hired a young woman to leap out and push him over in St. Peter's, Rome. And so he got all the main headlines, and was sitting chortling to himself...
Read full storyMinorities riot over suggestion they are 'below average'
Minorities around the world are rioting over the discovery by Devin Devlin that they are 'below average'. Devlin, a population statistician with the University of Mudbury, earlier revealed in The Spoof that his statistical methods show that all mi...
Read full storyMichael Jackson Still Dead
LA Coroner "Dizzy" Vincent O'Tommygun today announced that the "King Of Pop" Michael Jackson, is still dead. The Irish-Italian-American County Coroner who tends to drink a lot, told us: "He's still dead. We've been keeping an eye on him, but he...
Read full storyShocking proof: Statistics show nearly half of all people are below average
Roughly 94.7 percent of all facts are proved statistically, making statistics the top-ranked field in all scientific disciplines -- and the main source of all new discoveries. Delving deeply into population statistics, statistician Devin Devlin ha...
Read full storyTop gear to finish!
Having been voted the nation's favourite programme of the decade, it may come as a surprise that the series will cease to exist after 2012. The main issue is funding; not only are the presenters, Jeremy Clarkson, James May and Richard Hammond paid o...
Read full storyRedneck TV Station to Keep Holiday Lights Contest Going All Year
LouArkanissippi- WKKK Channel 15, a local Fox affiliate in this sleepy Southern region of the United States, has decided to make a change to it's decade long Christmas "Lights of LouArkanissippi" contest and keep it going on all year. Station manager...
Read full storyCalifornia sperm bank dumps Tiger Woods lookalike donors
Los Angeles, California - (HumpDump): An LA fertility clinic offering sperm from donors resembling celebrities has prematurely withdrawn its "Tiger Woods' lookalike facilities. California Crybabybank sources said today recent controversy surroundi...
Read full storyNew Action Thriller Set to Screen: The Terminator VS. The Obamanation In Fight to Save California!
California Govenator Arnold Schwartzenegger, saying it was a last resort, said he was coming out of film retirement in a last ditch effort to save his state from bankruptcy. The 62 year old, citing the recent success of blockbuster 'Avatar', his sta...
Read full storyUmar Farouk Abdul Mutallab tries Shoe Bomber variant
Detroit - (Big Bang Theories): A crude Yemeni explosive device strapped onto a Nigerian student's leg failed to down a Northwest Airlines flight with 278 passengers and 11 crew on board. Umar Farouk Abdul Mutallab, a 23 year-old student of pyrotec...
Read full storyCharlie Sheen off-piste matrimonial antics rock Aspen
Aspen, Colorado Beetle - (Devil's Coach Whorse): Reformed cocaine user, boozing hellraiser, fiancee shooter and porn actress shagger Charlie Sheen's Christmas vacation has ended in farce. The 44 year-old spent a festive Yuletide night in Pitkin C...
Read full storyTiger snares Irish fella
A nightclub hostess, a cocktail waitress and a Swindon bar manager at the centre of the Tiger Woods affair allegations have said they regret making mistakes. Rachel Uchitel, 34, Jaimee Grubbs, 24, and Chris Sheals, 45, are among a string of women...
Read full storyThe Revenge Of The Salmon- An Alaskan Horror Story
AN ALASKAN HORROR STORY- THE REVENGE OF THE SALMON A salmon does not know when it is time to die. They fight on when there is nothing left to fight for, or to fight with. They are the Marine Corps of fish. Salmon will continue to try to swim upstream even when they are in water so shallow that if they were to lie still their mouths would be out of the water. There have been salmon that hav...
Read full storyScott Tracey And Troy Tempest Revealed To Be The Same Puppet
The Gerry Anderson organisation finally came clean today, and announced that Scott Tracey, out of Thunderbirds, and Troy Tempest, out of Stingray, who was always after shagging aqua Marina, were in fact, one and the same puppet. A spokesman for 'T...
Read full storyLinguists Meet to Discuss Crap
Washington DC: The World Linguists Organization (WLO) convention was overshadowed by the climate change convention held in Copenhagen DK and the Senate debate on health care reform at the US Capitol. Linguists from around the world met to discus...
Read full storyDuke Of Edinburgh Refuses To Say Anything Remotely Controversial For Christmas
Prince Phil the Greek, aka The Duke Of Edinburgh, hubby of the reigning monarch, today refused to get drawn into saying anything even remotely controversial. Even though he has previously referred to people from the far east as having 'slitty eyes.'...
Read full storyCharlie Sheen Spends Christmas In A Colorado Rocky Mountains Hoosegow
ASPEN, Colorado - The star of the top sit-com television show in America, Two And A Half Men, has been arrested and placed in the Pitkin County hoosegow (jail). Charlie Sheen was arrested by Pitkin County sheriff's deputies after he was spotted st...
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