LA Coroner "Dizzy" Vincent O'Tommygun today announced that the "King Of Pop" Michael Jackson, is still dead.
The Irish-Italian-American County Coroner who tends to drink a lot, told us:
"He's still dead. We've been keeping an eye on him, but he hasn't jumped up and started grabbing his crotch and dancing. We poked him with a pointed stick a couple of times, but he didn't respond. Probably because he's dead. We even read news reports to him about Tiger Woods's marital indiscretions. Nothing. He really is dead. He's proper fucked."
Michael Jackson was famous in the 1980's for his groundbreaking 'Off The Wall' and 'Thriller' albums.
Which led to prodigious self indulgent spending sprees, and accusations of paedophilia.
He is dead though. Really.
Recent reports from LA LA Land appear to indicate that the 'dead' scenario is likely to endure.
Probably for a long time, if not forever.
"It's a shame really," Dizzy Vincent O'Tommygun told us. "We tried a 2,000 volt cattle prod on him but there was nothing. He barely twitched."
Looks like the 'This Is It!' tour isn't going to happen after all.
More as we get it.
