Top gear to finish!

Funny story written by IN SEINE

Saturday, 26 December 2009

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The Stigs' New Transport At the Early Learning Centre

Having been voted the nation's favourite programme of the decade, it may come as a surprise that the series will cease to exist after 2012. The main issue is funding; not only are the presenters, Jeremy Clarkson, James May and Richard Hammond paid obscene salaries, the cost of fuel is rising at alarming rates. Add the cost of pulling off a few stunts and the associated cost of insurance is phenomenal. It costs around £1 million per episode and all this is funded by the licence payer. The extravagance must stop!

It has been discovered that because the licence fee is waived for those over 75 years old, there are more people over 75 now in our population, than ever before and that means less revenue for the BBC.

Furthermore, because of the Copenhagen agreement it was decided that Top Gear was setting a 'bad example' to the rest of the world simply because of its massive carbon footprint and its portrayal of driving around at idiotic speeds that nobody could do legally on roads in Britain, in cars that normal viewers could not possibly afford.

Spokesman, Axel Grease, told In Seine News; "looking back, the show was been very entertaining and such an accolade has been very well deserved. Alas, all good things have to come to an end and in the current economic climate (and indeed the global climate) we need to make some changes. Although a decision has not been reached yet, we aim to produce the programme on a much smaller scale and perhaps call it Bottom Gear (at the risk of some disgruntled viewers calling it 'Bum Gear') with just one presenter, although we cannot tell you which one it will be."

"I would like to assure viewers that the other two presenters will go on to do their own shows. We have not yet decided what to do with the Stig. Some say... He has already got a job as a security guard in the Early Learning Centre, whereas others are saying that he is Michael Schumacher - hence the coming out of retirement and getting back on the Formula One circuit. I am not at liberty to say."

It is believed that Top Gear will reach a climax after its world tour which is taking place this year... Whoops... I mean next year!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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